Month: August 2016

Money
What is money? Is it even real? Surely its important? Its what we earn isnt it? It makes us free? Makes our lives better? Gives us more choice?
Ok well lets start at the beginning. Before money there was barter. Barter was swapping goods, work, skills and even knowledge for whatever you needed at the time. All societies began with barter.
Once people began using this form of economics the local chieftains would realise that they could demand more from people than others. They could by use of force, threat, fear, status or even through respect expect their clan, tribe or village demand off others, their subjugated or as we even see ourselves today subjects.
At some point in pre history some bright spark took a liking to precious metals, gold, silver even forms of copper. Around the same time jewels such as diamonds, ruby….well you get the idea.
So barter evolved into trade, goods for gold if you were lucky. Diamonds for deeds. Silver for service.
Now carrying around gold for instance was a job in itself, you rarely would trust it to others so soon the wealthiest either looked like Arnie (not a great look if you were wanting to marry a prince) or were constantly shattered and bent over so much all the could see was their feet. It was around this point some bright spark invented shoe polish, to enable the rich to see a reflection of the sky.
So a blokey (or more likely his missus coz them of the fairer sex hated shopping day at this point. Going out with bags weighing a ton to come back with sack cloth n tatties) decided if they put the rulers head on a smaller bit of gold with a number, and maybe silver with a smaller number and copper with the smallest number they could carry a small purse instead of a huge satchel. Thus the handbag was invented and with it came the birth of currency.
Now this worked for a while but when tribes, clans and villages became countries the boss guys and gals found if they wanted to buy stuff from abroad and couldn’t be bothered invading places like China they needed huge ships to carry the coins and still needed to send jewels and gold stuff too as the Chinese didn’t always like looking at the heads of other rulers unless they were on spikes (a fashion world wide in them days).
These huge ships often ended up being chased by pirates (water born robbers but with stunning dress sense, dandy flare, and able to hold full conversations by just one word….Arrr). It was then that again Mrs Boss came up with the idea of paper money. It was easier to make, lots smaller and far lighter. The ships then could be smaller and faster. And best of all if you made a promise (especially if you were English coz us lot always keep our word don’t we guv?) to pay the bearer (the dude or dudette holding the note) then you could just pretend you had lots of gold and stuff. The big boss realised this first so it was his or her heads on painted on the notes.
Nowadays yer don’t even need to pretend to have the gold. You just have to have a bank say you have. You don’t need to carry your money just a card or even you phone.
So that’s money. A promise. And when countries run short of money they say they have more. This works until they are found out then the other countries wont take their promises coz they been found out to be fibbers.
Now in each society there are lots of peeps with little or no money, but then there’s one in a hundred with stacks.
So is money real? Nope not really. Its a promise which may be true but likely is a lie.
Is money important? Only whilst we believe in the promise. If suddenly we don’t then we end up generally going back to barter until some charismatic or scary person manages to con us into pretending to believe again.
Is it what we ‘earn’? In some ways yes, but only because its all that is usually on offer. I actually would work far harder if someone gave me a big busty blonde but then that’s slavery and not only illegal and immoral but a subject all of its own for another night.
So does money make us free? No it truly does not. Money we are told is good, but what we are not told is money is actually more of a shackle than can ever be made out of iron chains. Once we agree a rate for our labour, skill, art or knowledge we have to continue to work for that amount. If we do or are seen to do wrong we are often fined. All the money we earn is taxed several times before and after we receive it. For instance you earn £10. That’s a promise of ten pounds of silver as we work on sterling rather than gold as a rule in Britain or ten promises of equivalent value. (you won’t get ten pounds of silver for a ten pound note though). £2 of that ten is taken in income tax. Then you pay say another £2 in national insurance (another tax as the policy keeps losing value). So you have £6. You buy two pints of beer. The beer has VAT value added tax of say 20%. So your beers cost £3 each. 60 pence of each £3 is VAT. Then you pay tax on the beer itself. Another 90 pence. So far half the cost of your beer is tax. Then the landlord of the pub pays his income tax, the dreymen pay their income tax, the brewers pay income and corporation tax unless they are American owned or the proprietor is a super rich blonde bearded goblin that cannot ride a bike, in which case they pay nothing. If we were bartering that beer would have cost us a few minutes of time but likely now its cost far more. We get less in money than we probably would without.
Yes we do have more choice with money in so much as we can split the result of our toil, paying a bit here and a bit there. Bit it also gives the rulers or the ‘Establishment’ more ways of getting our skills from us for less.
Why do people work for it? Because our society is controlled by the ‘Establisment’ those that have lots of money and power. We buy into it because they tell us to. Having more money means your choices open up new horizons. You can bribe, threaten, reward and even pay for people to be killed.
Money these days to many is allowing them to exist, not giving them choices. When you are on low pay or no pay then your options are limited. This keeps you in your place. It removes your power.
I prefer the dream a society where we care more for people than for money. Where we all have a decent standard of living with no need to worry about whether we can feed ourselves or our children, whether we still will have a home tomorrow.
A society where people are not applauded for greed. Where we respect deeds more than numbers.
Can it happen? You tell me, I am no more wise or intelligent than you, I do not hold all the answers. All I do is think, try to see the world as it really is. If I find an answer I will share it, but if you think hard enough you may just find it before me.
By the way if your confused good, think I have confused myself. But it is 2am and bloody hot!!!
All I ask is start to think. Think about anything. About money, society, the future, the past. Ask yourself questions and look for the answers. They do not need to be right. Just searched for. If you do this a whole new world of realisation opens up and is far more entertaining and yes frustrating than any soap. So give it a go. Then if you fancy share it with me and if you so wish the world.
Jonesy.

Well home now and early night. Lovely day just tramping about the peaks on my saddle. Lots of memories remembered, a nice one made. Only stress was some pratty kid in a little silver car coming out of Bradwell decided that killing me was a better idea than him losing face. Think he wet himself when he realised that he had pissed a grown up off. Never seen such a look of fear when I pulled up in front of him. Not such a big boy now and maybe will not dick around with bikes again? Anyway no threats just a look.
Other than that most people driving well. Odd 4×4 driver that does not believe bikes are allowed to filter and its their holy role to pull out and deliberately block our path. Not good idea. Read the highway code.
But that was rare. Weather cool enough for leathers. I am liking my new beard as When wearing helmet hides the triple chins. The bigger bike jacket gives the impression I am stocky not just chubby due to meds n inactivity. So almost felt confident for a while. Friendly face or two in Castleton and met Donna (was Delaney) in Tidza so munched over few memories in the street.
Ended up at folks for a chinese takeaway. Finally landed home. Fish, frogs fed an Gayle the gecko chatted to.
Lets hope dont pay too much a price tomorrow. Well bed calling. See yer all after the dark has gone away.
Jonesy.

Free
This is the second time I am writing this. My phone decided to crash and I lost it all once. But here goes.

Lets consider what free means. I mean today I had email from Pizza Hut offering me free food. A free lunch? Nope sadly not quite. What they were offering was this:
1. Download our fab new App
2. Rock up to a Pizza Hut Restaurant
3. Show us your App ID
4. Eat yummy food
5. Earn App points
6. Use points for more yummy food
#Simples
Well actually free means no charge, but effectively by earning their points which I need to use I am buying the food but using their own defined currency.
So nope not free. If but it were. If there was free food life would be so much easier for so many of us.
We all accept there are no free cars, free food, free holidays or infact usually free anything.
I am currently sat writing this in the picturesque Peak District village of Castleton. Its teeming with tourists and the weather is brilliant. I can look up on the weathered stone remains of Peveril Castle, once the main administration centre of the Peak District and I am yards from Winnats Pass. A historical piece of road once renowned for Highway men and thieves. Maybe even the true hunting ground of the ‘real’ Robin Hood if he did indeed exist beyond legend and fable.
As I sit here in this beautiful setting, a breeze almost disturbing the still of green leaved branches I consider are we free?
Even here however you cannot escape CCTV, both in the shops and likely upon the streets. Carefully hidden maybe so as not to interfere with the natural beauty that encourages the purse strings of the tourist class remain a regular feature and very loose.
Consider this. We live in the UK. We are brought up to believe we are ‘free’. We have no chains and are only imprisoned if we do wrong. To some degree that’s correct. However what is ‘wrong’ and who decides? We live under rule of law. Law is supposed to apply to all .with no exception. We are always told ‘no one is above the law’. Sadly it seems that is empty rhetoric and completely untrue.
Our country in fact has more legislation (laws) governing ‘our’ conduct than anywhere else in the world. We used to have legal aid to ensure we all have recourse to legal representation but now we rarely do. For the likes of me or you to get a case into court the cost would be beyond our means. Even to ensure access to our own children when the other parent stops it.
We have conviction without trial which is unheard of in almost every culture.this is achieved through fixed penalty notices, and cautions both of which are seen as admission of guilt and are recorded upon your criminal record. They are not a case of ‘getting off’ as people often see it. They can stop you getting work, having access to vulnerable people, holding public office and even travelling.
The level of surveillance is more per head than any other country. With face recognition tech you can be tracked from one end of the UK to the other by the ‘security’ services. Lets digress for one moment. Whose security do they ensure? Yours? Mine? No sadly they only endeavour to keep members of the ‘establishment’ safe. The Royals, the aristocracy, the gentry and now the ‘super rich’. You are not their priority. In fact you are seen as part of the problem. Possibly not as much as I at times but definitely in some way.
Free thought then? Nope. Well yes you can think what you like but cannot voice it without risk of consequence. The recent behaviour of officers and officials of the Labour Party have highlighted this all too well. Suspending members, removing their voice and vote and even throwing them out of the party. The reasons often given is that those said officials have not agreed with a view the person has shared with others on social media.
I also know people that have been sacked or even arrested for what they have posted.

I have now moved on to Tideswell, the village with ‘The Cathedral of the Peak. I still find myself contemplating free.
So what freedoms do we have? In truth very little. Our options and choices are governed by how much money we have. Money is not only a token for choice but an indicator of how free you truly are. The more money the less restriction upon your options, upon your freedoms.
Is that acceptable? Not to me. I want to live in that world I was told as a child I did. I want to know life is more important than money. That we all have rights and are all free. Dont you?
Jonesy.

Well today maybe the start of the bank holiday weekend for most of you. There are many working through it, possibly either grumbling or thankful, but for many of us there is no difference between S…

Source: Bank Holiday Blues

Well today maybe the start of the bank holiday weekend for most of you. There are many working through it, possibly either grumbling or thankful, but for many of us there is no difference between Saturday or Monday on any week. For some each day is just a scant variation on the day before or the one which comes next.
If your out of work whether due to retirement, illness, disability or whatever reason the public holidays mean little. Infact for me it breeds even more frustration as on Monday there will be extra carboot sales but I cannot even afford to look today.
This ‘extravagant’ life that we that are unable to work seem according to the media to lead truly evades me. My life is made up of robbing Peter to pay Paul.
Most of the things I accrued over a lifetime of work are now gone. For those that have been unable to experience even that I truly weep for.
Living upon our social security entitlement effects every aspect of our lives. It destroys our self worth, steals our options and in the process vilifies us within the way others generally see us.
Add to that long term chronic illness’ as in my case, terminal illness for many others and numerous more genuine reasons for peoples forced abstention from work and you have a pretty naff existence.
Yes people have it worse than me. I get that and would and do stand up wholeheartedly for them. But its perspective too. I only experience my own lot. I can only describe my feelings. They are no more but also no less real than those of others.
Basic choices like what we can afford to eat are daily. The feeling of loss when I see the wonderful posts from others enjoying sun filled holidays. The longing to walk into a shop and truly be able to choose what ever my whim decides. All that has gone.
I am not jealous of my friends that still are able to hold their heads high. I am saddened I am no longer with them.
I do not want charity or hand outs, but believe in a system that gives everyone a ‘reasonable’ standard of living and hope.
On my good days I could go back to work in a shot and be as effective as ever. However on my bad I cannot even dress.
No employer would accept my inability to work so frequently. If I do casual work on my good days I risk losing all my income in one fell swoop. There is no support to get me back into any positive role without sanction. I am made to lay in the mire by arbitrary bureaucracy with no hope of escape.
I believe I still have a lot to offer but cannot see a way forward. I want with my every fibre to return to my work but how?
I know there will be many suggestions but I truly have I believe likely at least considered them all. I never know when or for how long I will be in flare up. I have several illness’ to contend with, all of which are problematic. That I still have ‘good’ days is a wonder to me. But I do. Upon those days I do not feel ill. But on those days more and more I am thrown into a pit of lethargy, apathy and boredom. No money to do anything, the knowledge if I over exert I will be badly, no options, and more and more frequently a wall of grey stone built within my mind preventing me seeing any future. I cannot plan a day ahead never mind weeks.
I have no social life partly through illness, part finance, part self withdrawing due to my own loathing of this me and part due to constantly letting others down to the point they move on with their lives. My face to face friends pool is few now. When I do see people I am embarrassed and ashamed of my weight gain, my lack of confidence but mostly the ‘brain fog’ that makes conversation difficult and confusing at times, that makes me doubt my own memory.
I survive each day as I must, I am a parent (whether good or bad) so that limits even further my choices.
I do not feel depressed in the usual way, I know the reasons for my moods, its all this and the constant pain and exhaustion.
I am but one person in this situation. There are far too many others.
I don’t want you to copy, post or even share, I want you to understand. I don’t want any ‘Amen’ that’s a made up word to rejoice to some higher being, a term used to prey on the belief of people.
I want you to see me and all like me that live like this. I dont want pity, hugs or the like. I want to regain my self respect, to feel worthwhile, to live within a community that I feel I am a productive part of.
I want you to see the real me not this pathetic creature I feel I have become.
I want to hold my head up, to have some personal worth and my kids to have something to be proud of.
I want choice and options.
I want a fucking life not existence.
That’s what I want. Is it too much to ask? For me and everyone else living in perpetual limbo?
Thank you for reading this far and I apologise for letting go.
Jonesy

Well its 2:30 (ghosty dentist time) and I am wide awake again. Well brain is, body screaming at it ‘sleep you swine’.
I am somewhat perplexed as to how the Labour Party NEC believe they have any credibility left after their current behaviour. Preventing members from voting because they do not like who they may vote for is disgusting, undemocratic , vile and totally corrupt. There cannot be any excuse for their authoritarian and I believe illegal stunt. If not illegal it still displays them to be bereft of any morality and integrity.
I have voted but feel angry and betrayed by the fact so many now cannot. Through their attempts to censor us members and prevent us choosing and backing our already democratically elected leader they are blighting the very core values our party was founded upon.
For a socialist party to be afraid of socialism is unprecedented. It is a clear indication how in previous decades our party has been infiltrated by to be honest ‘Establishment Moles’. They have placed themselves and their would be saboteurs in key positions. During the Blair ‘New Labour’ Years socialist members either left or were romanced by the sheer guile and personality of what we now know was the most morally corrupt leader of any Labour Government. I am sure some honest socialists from those times still carry shame and guilt at being duped.
Now however the membership have seen through that. We and likely the majority of the general electorate want a new kind of politics. We want honesty, morality, integrity, fairness. We want our politicians to care about those the represent. To understand the needs of the people are more important than their own expenses and wealth. That realise we no longer will tolerate fraud, corruption, bribery, theft of our country’s assets. We want our nation to profit and benefit not a few major companies and those complicit in awarding them contracts because they have received back handers or holidays in the sun.
And yet our own part officials believe themselves to be above the membership, believe they have the right to tell us what we can say, write and do. To direct us away from the very principles we hold dear. How dare they?
They are using the ‘rule book’ yet in reality are in breach in the worst way of the ethos of our party. If people require purging it surely is them. Not honest, passionate, free thinkers. We need to rid the stagnation and those that perpetuate it not those seeking to bring about positive change.
If you don’t agree with Corbyn you cannot possibly agree with Smith. He is just spouting Corbyn’s policy but with no conviction nor commitment. All this leadership election is about is discrediting the values of socialism, not just Corbyn’s but ours too. Its a futile attempt to put the new understanding we are gaining back from our minds. It’s a forlorn hope by the ‘Establishment’ that they, the rich and powerful can once more subjugate us, oppress our freedom of thought and free will by putting the genie back in the bottle. They honestly do not yet realise that bottle was a molotov cocktail and when smashed ignited a fire of hope and realisation they will never extinguish.
In a way this is the ‘Establishments last chance of peace, for if they continue to oppress us with their dastardly methods what likely comes next even they cannot prepare for.
The British people can be placid but they also can be moral, stubborn and fight like the armies of hell if they believe themselves to be upon the side of the good.
That no longer is supporting the rich and powerful, it supporting freedom, justice and fairness.
This is my view and not a manifesto or statement of intention.
I do not write this to incite but to inform of how I see our futures. For right now there are a few paths.
The people now will choose.
Jonesy.

Well voting is now underway for the members of the Labour Party to either reinforce their backing of our already democratically chosen leader or to pick the man that believes the membership can be bought by gimmicks, backstabbing, character assassination, plagiarism, censorship, threats and bribery. A man who would rather support a corrupt and oppressive establishment than stand up for the rights of a nation.
This vote is important and although is but one more battle that needs to be won, must be won for democratic change to remain a possibility within the UK.
The British People are starting to wake up from their years of apathetic slumber. It is not what those that rule and control our lives want to see. They know once peoples focus is finally diverted from trends, celebrity, soaps, materialism, self indulgence and greed, once people begin to recognise the true enemy to freedom, the reason behind why we have people living and dying upon our streets, why the sick, elderly and disabled are at risk of losing not just their homes but lives through poverty, why children and families are ripped apart by the effects of unemployment and abject poverty upon their entire communities, that when the public see through their propaganda, lies and finally realise the effect of their rights being stole from them, something immense and world changing may happen.
Whether we should be proud of it or not the truth is that the British People have historically taken control at key points within the past. When the world has had to change and move on it has been often been Britain that led the way.
When oppression needed to be challenged its been upon many occasions from our civil war where Parliamental democracy was born to the industrial revolution of the entire globe and subsequent formation of effective unions and the battles for workers rights we the people have stood up to the mark. This maybe the beginning of yet another example.
This is another potential historical hub where the paths open to us now separate. From my own perspective I see a few options for our society right now.
One the nation continues to be subjugated by the rich and powerful elite, by the 1% of the wealthiest individuals not just here within the UK but globally, to be oppressed until all we truly have to give any hope within our lives of any opportunity to change our enforced destiny of yet more poverty and oppression at the hands of a corrupt and to be honest vile few. The people continue to be the cattle of the wealthy, our lives controlled by their fickle whims. Their greed pushing us down further until its your family that is the bottom of the pile. To drag us into more wars and ‘police actions’ to line their pockets.
The next option is that we get behind honesty and morality, that we not as a party but an entire populous wake up and use the few remaining legal ways to take back control of our lives. To allow democracy to be our weapon to challenge and fight for a future where we all have a chance to thrive, where society provides a safety net against poverty, where we realise we need to mend our own infrastructure and culture rather that getting involved in destroying that within other countries. Where it does not matter if your male, female, black or white, lesbian, gay or ‘straight’, able, disabled or unable, rich or poor, young or old, christian, muslim or atheist, we all have a chance to thrive and progress. A society where hope is their for all. My view only true socialism can do this. Capitalism has and continues to increase the gap between the rich and the poor and the cost is lives.
The third option I see is a looming threat of real violent revolution. This is a real possibility. People the world over will only take so much and thats historically proven to be even more true of the British. We now have access to knowledge that was not available to the ‘common people’ in the past. The establishment know this and that truly does scare them. From Boris buying Water cannon to the scrapping of the Human Rights Act all the signs are there. Each freedom we have stolen in the name of National Security is done so to ensure any rising of the people can be put down at source, its to prevent not terrorists but the likes of you and me having ‘free thought’ ideas ‘above our station’ and realising that our financial infrastructure is nought but a con to keep us in our place.
I prefer the second of these options, there are more choices to be made but these I believe are the most likely at this point. Individually we cannot decide. As a single party we cannot decide. But as the most stubborn and at times in the past moral or even at times immoral nation we bloody well can and maybe will.
I am not a ‘Corbynite’ or anything else that defines me as a hero worshipper of Jeremy Corbyn but I do think he has the morality and building popularity to wake up the voters of our nation. I think he will stand up for whats right and has already displayed empathy and understanding of the plight we all live in fear of, poverty.
The establishment are that desperate to discredit him they even use images of him walking through a carriage of reserved seats to challenge his integrity. Its ridiculous and insulting for them to believe the British people will be swayed from a path of what is right by yet more cheap propaganda.
My illness restricts my opportunity now, from working with families in poverty that were disenfranchised and disadvantaged to living in poverty. I did not give up a good wage, good job and my self respect to live on benefits with no reason to wake up each day, despite what Channel 5 or Jeremy Kyle would have you believe. I paid my entire life into a system that’s failing, as have so many others. The safety net is being reduced more and more each day through government and corporate greed. I have seen poverty from many perspectives and its terrible however seen.
This is your chance if a member of the Labour Party with a vote to choose the right path, pick wisely.
If you are not a member I truly hope by 2020 you will have a choice to vote in a truly socialist government and that we get to turn things around not just for us but for the generations to come.
Jonesy.

T’is literally the middle of the night as I lay here in t’dark contemplating life, dragons, futures, pasts, friends, and all the other discombobulated but vivid thoughts that pass through the mind of a Jonesy.
I am neither happy or sad as I ponder imaginary scenarios, schemes and decisions that may actually work to the benefit of myself or others but due to lethargy and my own apathy and my totally withering levels of commitment will never be acted upon and likely never again grace my thought process further due to my scant patience at suffering fools and recognition that I myself often am the biggest fool I know.
All this sounds so negative and self-deprecating but it truly is not. I see with some clarity my life, my family, my circle and my world. I can imagine myself alone but in truth in many ways am not. I may now see few people. This week there have been days I have not seen another living soul and craved contact so much that on one of them even the opening the door to the post man was mildly exciting, and it is true upon these days I have felt morose, vulnerable and isolated, however you, my ‘audience’ those often faceless people in the ether that have pressed a like button, commented, messaged or phoned, you the ones that have reacted to my self indulgent ramblings have done more than you realise to sustain me, to assist my regaining some level positivity of thought to keep me from hurling my soul into some imagined pit of despair.
Life is at this moment in time is surviving in an enforced limbo. Its dealing with the effects and limitations of the various illness’ that I have allowed to encompass my decisions. I have been and still am in a rut of ongoing consequence to each action. Its been of late as if I have to ration my energy, that anything I attempt will drain me. Almost like a faulty car battery. One that does not hold its charge. So do I keep turning over or hold off until I can find a set of jump leads? Because I am referring to my life buying a new battery is not an option. I can park upon a hill on the chance that I can bump start but daren’t drive at night for any light drains too much energy. Sorry if the analogy confuses.
What I have to do is focus and keep focus. I need to find something that I can do and then get motivated enough to do it. The trouble is my concentration currently will not remain upon a single path. I have no ability to even read a book. The contradiction is I rarely watch TV these days and if I do I just watch entire series in one sitting as its easier than trying to bridge my thoughts from one story to another.
My memory is useless. Its not I believe that I have no ability to remember things so much its more that there is a level of apathy in my mind to continued existence, I do however get confused at times through ‘brain fog’ which is one of the more difficult symptoms to cope with. This has eroded my self confidence more than anything. I avoid social situations for fear of making a fool of myself. Conversations are a nightmare at times especially if face to face, losing track of thoughts or having to stop because I cannot find a word that defines my point is to me embarrassing beyond comprehension. I know its ridiculous, the objective me can see that. But I am human and emotion defines confidence.
Don’t read this and think me suicidal, I am not, I am a parent (whether good or poor, suspect to a greater degree the latter) so that never can be an option. I just cannot find a path that is both achievable and challenging enough to capture my imagination. To grab my soul and push it forward despite my vexation at limitation imposed by health.
I have intentions of writing a book, or submitting articles, of setting up some kind of business, but I cannot push my self enough to reach my goals or even dribble the ball towards them. People have been kind about my writings, about my imagination and ramblings but in an odd way that adds to my frustration of inactivity. I cannot find that way forward.
This week has been unusually hard, not due to pain so much but because I have been so overwhelmed by exhaustion. It’s like I ran a marathon but never recovered my breath. I know even when fit I never ran a marathon but this feeling is exactly why I didn’t (ok and that I was never ‘that’ fit). Even pegging washing out on the line set me back. My sleep patterns are none existent. In fact its in the night I feel most energetic. I could I truly believe physically achieve more at night but mentally am useless.
‘Useless’ now there’s the key word. As writing that last sentence I realised ‘useless’ defines how I see myself. I know some other will argue that but their denials will fall upon my deadened mind. From where I was to where I am now has been a slope of ice with no hand rail. Do I still have a reason? I am not sure.
Writing this is pure arrogance. I know that. I truly am no worse off than anyone else effected by illness. Far better off than the majority. This pondering is not me asking for sympathy or pity, its trying to firstly share to some degree my experience, my thoughts and hopefully voice how others in the same or worse positions with chronic illness to some extent feel.
My experiences are at times all ‘I own’. I share them but wish them upon no one.
It is cathartic too. Lying in bed with my thoughts just trapped in my head is more than frustrating so this is a release. Allowing them to travel off into the ether.
The clarity of night time is unequalled.
But the main reason for me in writing this drivel is just maybe one of you out there may be able to ignite some inspiration within me, identify a way to force what is there deep inside, my point, my reason, yes find my ‘use’. Give me a reason for waking up Jonesy from his slumber. Give me something to truly capture my imagination and force me to climb the grey wall barring my path. There is something I can achieve, something to once more give me a meaning, I just need to find it.
To those that have read to here sorry.
To my friends, thank you all, to my critics see ya.
To all, good morning
Jonesy

The corruption within the Labour Party was visible before JC. The ‘New Labour’ were governing under a false flag. They re-branded and from the start displayed a disgusting level of greed and corruption. Tony Blair, (the guy whose own apostles now claim his name is an insult) was himself set from the beginning upon implementing Thatchers plan that Major had diverted away from. The Tories could not continue because the public had seen through their greed and had enough, decades before they had planted their own sleeper careerists into the party and now promoted them by steering donors toward them including Blair n co.
We can look back to the 50’s and 60’s and happily accept that the soviets planted people in our parties, so why is it hard to accept the Tory led establishment had only learnt from this.
Many of the party members were swayed by the party’s new found affluence. The fabled ‘Establishment’ took even more of a grip and brought in more and more legislation that was brokered to the people as ‘security’ but in reality was to serve to only protect the rich and powerful not the rest of us. It was actually designed to ensure we are kept in our place. ASBO and fixed penalties were actually to ensure conviction without trial. They were aimed solely at the poor. The party fell for this. The nation for a while fell for it. Blair and his spin doctors pushed our nation further and further towards the right. The difference between New Labour and the Tories was now non existent. The Libs were the socialists in this weird hidden coalition of thoughts and process. I and many others left the Party during the Blair years. We could not see a way to fight from within and I could not be seen to support a right leaning party that in my view betrayed all the principles of socialism.
Now we are trying to take our party back, to give the UK a chance to reverse some but likely not all the damage the greedy ‘establishment’ has done to our society. To try to reignite a passion for honesty, integrity, morality and fairness. We are trying to end greed being the motivation of those in control.
Its not about Corbyn this fight, its about me and you. About our kids and their kids. We need to win this before the corruption damages and destroys our future beyond measure.
So you now need to start ignoring the propaganda. Our woes are not caused by immigrants, gays, disabled, elderly or scroungers. Austerity is not needed for any other reason than keeping the poor in poverty. How can Austerity be real if the bankers are getting bonuses and big firms don’t have to pay tax?
Your and I are living under a con, being cheated and stole from, controlled and subjugated by the Rich and powerful for their own gain.
We need to stop them now!
This is my belief, my understanding, my truth.
Jonesy

Hard work result.

I look at the envelope lying by the door,
Bow down with trepidation as I pick it from the floor.
I hesitate as I weigh up all it might mean, rip nervously at the paper dreading what may now be seen.
I pull at the contents and unfold the page, tension is killing me in what now seems an age.
I focus my eyes on what lies within, the words focus and my head suddenly begins to spin.
A star it states and yes it confirms it’s me, and for the next twenty four hours my life is filled with glee!