War the end

All out (or any) war is not a football match. There are no winners and just losers. We all lose, even our planet.

There will be no one left to gloat, not even the fools in bunkers

A nuclear war will mean this planet will no longer support life. Its atmosphere will be poisoned, air unbreathable. There will be no ozone and even the sunlight if there is any that gets through the dust clouds will sear flesh.

There is more than a chance that several weapons of high yield exploding in proximity would either split our planet , effectively killing all life immediately or pushing the planet out of orbit meaning that there would be an immediate loss or gain of gravity, a loss of atmosphere and the planet effectively moving away or toward the sun. There are no shelters that can save a life from this.

Elon Musk seems to believe living on Mars may save him and his cronies but sadly for him that too would be unlikely in this even, as a change of earth’s rotation would almost certainly have a compound effect upon the other planets within our solar system

So what’s the point of war?
Well usually it is profiteering from weapon sales and bolstering a failing political position by rallying the jingoistic of a country behind inept leaders and tainted flags.

The point of World War in a conventional manner has the added benefit for the elite of culling the poor, thinning out the masses and again profiteering from the rebuilding and the increase in weapons sales that are due to the fear of further war in the minds of those who have already experienced it.

World nuclear war?
There will be an end to everything. No Mad Max post apocalyptic future, as there would be no future for life, nevermind humans. It truly is that simple. 

Remember a single missile now can be the equivalent of many hiroshimas!

The next time nuclear reaction within weapons is used in war, there truly will be no more war, there will be no more us.

So wave your little flags, cheer on your favourite regimes, there will be no cup ceremony. There will be nothing.

Rock bottom.

Trigger warning.

I have just been asked by GP to describe what rock bottom feels like.

Well right now it is wanting to not be here. Not going to do anything to make it happen but wish could stop breathing. Would truly just love not to exist.

My eyes are sore from welling up, my angina is constant, my one wish would be to have never been in this reality.

I have bizarrely right now no anxiety, because if death made an appearance I would happily look him in the sockets and talk about whatever he wanted to, as we walked into eternity.
All I have within me is pain that sends its signals across the empty void within me.

What has caused this?
Memories of holding my kid brother moments after he died,feeling the warmth of his greying skin  and the sweat brought on by the resus staffs vain attempts to bring him back. Knowing I would never again hold him, that blonde haired kid I changed nappies for, I called my freddy.

From the constant pains of chronic illness, the embarrassment of crohns, the constant stress upon my body from blood sugars ranging from 2.8mml to 38mml. The shortness of breath from COPD AND asthma. The exhaustion and constant pain of fibro, the fear through anxiety, the loss of hope depression brings on but exacerbated by the realisation that I will never be the man I wanted to be, never achieve my goals, never be anything other than this shade I now am. The sudden triggers of PTSD.

From the frustration empathy brings, and the bombardment of hatred thrust into my face from people who assume to call me brother.

Most of all the cause of this hope I hold of never having to awake again is by the realisation that to my sister,my parents and worse my son and daughter all I have truly been is a weak feeble joke, an excuse of a human, a failiure as a brother, a son and a father.

As I said I am not going to take my life for I have no motivation for even that. I just scream within in the hope the void finds me soon

That’s my rock bottom.

I was then asked what I thought would make things better or help. Medication, counselling, the crisis team?

In truth……nothing

Dead like me!

David Cameron was poster boy for the parasitic establishment.
Theresa May was their attempt to lose power and blame the opposition.
Boris Johnson was their desperation to have a whipping boy to blame for all the turmoil Cameron and May caused.
Now Truss is their desperate attempt to discredit the entire Tory government and install their next poster boy for the Establishment – Starmer, pretending the Labour Party actually was a separate entity still from the Conservatives, in a last ditch effort to make people believe we have democracy and not just an installed faux government that pretends to represent the actual people.
All hail our masters, the new world aristocracy, the failing celebrity of monarchy and the true owners of international business.
There is no longer a country flag to doff to, just corporate logos and the headers of the stock exchange.
We are now not citizens, we are to them eaters and a true waste of their worlds resources. No longer needed or wanted.



Sleep deprived

Here I lay in the dark with all so tightly closed eyes, yet inward I see such angry storm filled skies.

Gazing upon a raging purple sea, mountainous waves towering above the frail shadow of a marooned cast aside me.

The surging swirling currents dragging pulling deep down below, into the most hostile place I must go.

Balance or demon I can truly no longer decide, searching in the diminished light I long to again hide

In a transcendental turmoil my my mind continues to dwell, some truth in this version of a yet unseen hell

No armour to protect the feeble creature now present, all my undeclared sins being outed, I must repent

Wishing I held a host of weapons by my side, feeling sorrow that the child I once was had yet again died

Rams head decaying upon a gilded human frame, urging my past digressions to publicly goad me and defame

Longing soon this foul torment must finally end, tonight is the same, not even a divergent despair to descend

Asleep or awake the nightmare still haunts, all my pain and loss engulfs a mind with screaming taunts

Childhood innocence gave me some hope, but losing loved ones, role, ability, reason, makes it difficult to cope

Another futile sleepless night draws to conclusion, a wasted day to follow without any human inclusion

Wanting the man I once was to again reappear, but knowing deep down the cost of hope is too dear.

British Gas and poverty

I have just sent this to Maathew Bateman, managing Director of British Gas :

Dear Matthew Bateman

I am writing to you as a registered independent social worker specialist in child protection.
I wish to inform you that the current pricing policies of British Gas along with the other energy suppliers within the UK are I believe knowingly putting families and therefore children into poverty.

By doing this you are deliberately placing children at significant risk of harm, chiefly but not solely in regard to issues relating to neglect and emotional harm.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs identifies that people – children have basic needs that must be met. The basic needs include food, water, clothing and shelter. Heating is included in shelter, as is lighting.

The pricing for poorer families is not sustainable and means that many families using prepay meters are now being cut off from gas and electric as they cannot afford to pay your prices and feed their children.

Today i have spoken to a mother who has been starving herself to feed her kids for over a week and put £15 on her meter yesterday to have no fuel left today. She is a British Gas customer with 4 children.

She works part time and has to rely on tax credits as a top up.

Maslow also identifies needs of safety that includes financial safety. This is removed in a large part from poorer families and individuals (a person can live alone at 16 but be recognised as a child until 21 or even older under UK legislation) due to your pricing.

I could go on listing all of the basic and higher needs of children being detrimentally effected by the current energy crisis and the part you are playing within it.

I understand you have a duty to your shareholders to make as much profit as possible, however you have a legal and moral duty of care to every child, disabled and yes abled person within the UK.
I suggest you are failing with this.

I therefore plead with you to take immediate action to ensure families are lifted from the poverty caused by the pricing policy of British Gas, and hope other companies will follow suit.

Simon Jones
Social Worker

Death or fight!

Today I received a letter from Kingsmill Hospital, in regard to the referral my GP made in October 2021. The appointment I have been given is for mid June 2022.
This was after I finally managed to get through to their appointments team, given I had been ringing them almost daily since December 2021 and have only last week finally got through.
It was also after explaining my circumstances to them, to Patient Advice and Liaison (PALS) and them taking it not to a clinician but a business team.
When I spoke to them I explained my blood sugars range daily from 3 to 33mml. That this poor control is due to medication and effects of my other illnesses. That I have had consultant’s in diabetes, crohns and pain management look at how to gain better control.
I explained on top of this I have neuropathy (biggest cause of amputation in UK) which along with other conditions brings about severe constant pain and quite often a quality of life that makes me question why I carry on.
So it will be 9 months from referral to appointment (if they do not cancel it) before I am seen
In the mean time I continue to use insulin, in high dises, ozempic in highest dose, along with my other medications without any support or consultation.
Yes my GP surgery try to help but sadly with the complication factors of my other illnesses, the nurses and doctors openly admit they are out of their depth.
Now I was able to finally get to speak to someone, I had the ability to put my needs forward, to insist in being heard. Sadly many cannot. Many may have to rely on support worker to try to ring as and when they can, others on family or friends and many with no support nor ability
I am not blaming the clinicians. The call handles, PALS or even the business team, the fault is 100% on this government, on previous governments including that of “New Labour’ the party run by Blair and emulated with such vigor by Starmer and Raynor.
The Conservatives and neoliberalism of the UK, the capitalists, the shareholders of corporations here and in the USA, in France, Germany and even Russian and China all want a profit from the breakup of the NHS.
The NHS was set up to protect the people, to ensure we in the UK had not just a basic but groundbreaking health service to ensure we were kept as well as could be. When it was set up it was to give us support and care from birth to death. It was not perfect, but it was the pride of Britain and the envy of the world. There was no postcode lottery on services (until Thatcher then Blair) there was a reliable efficient service that meant injury and illness were not going to break families, not cause poverty, pain, or undue suffering
But greed and corruption was introduced by Thatcher, by Blair and every subsequent government and most ministers.
Now the NHS breathes the final breaths of a dying monolith. It will be remembered by those of us lucky enough to have been able to rely on it, with affection, pride and sadly loss
I am but one person of approximately 68,000,000 living in the UK. I am not in the worst of positions, unlike my 35yr old brother who died in extreme pain over a period of years, due to being unsupported and failed with his medication, no support and even improper diagnosis of his of diabetes 2yrs ago leaving behind his 8yr old son, I am still alive – for now.
We cannot let this continue any longer, the destruction of the NHS must be stopped, those theives and robbers that call thieves MP’s held to account. Private health shut down. Health care is not a luxury. Since the 1940’s in the UK its been our birthright. Do not let them take that from us,not now or ever!

Melt down of NHS

Kings Mill Hospital in Mansfield, Nottinghamshire had a referral for me, from my GP, in October 2021. I have managed to get through today for the first time in 6 months of calling, only to be told the team are not yet looking at October 2021 referrals and would be another three months at least for an appointment.
I was then put through to the complaints team. I explained my diabetes was out of control due to my other illnesses. I told him I was not just concerned about me but all the other people awaiting a response, the call handler clearly responded that my case is not urgent.
With blood sugars going from 3mml to 33mml I beg to differ. The neuropathic pain gives a different story as does the pain management consultant.
I asked the call handler if he was clinically trained, he said no. I pointed out,that, then he was not qualified to give a opinion or make a decision and asked him why he had. He fumbled a vague answer without actually answering.
I explained that I had been referred to Kingsmill due to chesterfield Royal Hospital letting my brother down and likely being complicit in the events leading to his death due to diabetes. I also pointed out that I too had been let down before and after Robert died, by the staff at Chesterfield Royal Hospital diabetes team which is why I was being referred to Kingsmill.
He then offered the ‘options’, I could make a complaint ‘or’ (not and) get an faster appointment.
I again pointed out that yes I need an appointment but so do all the others referred 6 months or more ago that have had no response.
He did not it seems understand this.
At the beginning of the call I advised I was recording the call, as my brain fog often leaves me forgetful of points.
I am beyond frustrated that despite the death of my brother and countless others, despite the massively life changing effects to the detrement of those with diabetes, that people continue to be so let down.
Diabetes is but one major cause of death in the UK, however, it also likely is the major cause of amputation, it is a serious cause of blindness, kidney disease, depression, anxiety, along with other mental health problems that people have to live with.
No one should be let down by the health service at all, this is the 21st Century and medicine could easily deal with so many health issues, disease, disability, it does not however, not due to lack of ability, but to lack of resources caused by greed and enforced poverty.
We sit here worrying about wars in other areas in the world but accept the symptomatic death and suffering caused by consecutive British governments since and before WWII.
Again there are many other areas of medicine including cancer and heart disease that people, ourselves, our friends and to many, more importantly our family are being sacrificed upon the excuses of lack of resources but the reality of greed and corruption.
People may say diabetes, cancer or heart disease (along with all the other diseases, conditions and disabilities) are not political, my answer is ‘bullshit’, politics causes and sustains poverty, and poverty is the biggest cause of all chronic ill health.
This needs to change now and stop the government’s privatisation agenda in its tracks.
People must come before the Conservatives profiteering.

Ultimate confidence trick

We live in an age of energy saving. We have energy saving light bulbs as standard,supposed to cost a fraction of the old filament ones, we have fridges, freezers, cookers, microwaves and boilers that generally are energy rating A – C, meaning low energy use.
Despite these obvious cuts in a homes energy use, families and individuals are living in fuel poverty. They are scared to turn on a light, frightened to cook food, if they can afford to buy food that is, turning fridges and freezers down or off, causing increased risk of food perishing or being poisoned, and shaking with cold in their own grime because they can afford to hoover, or even bath.
Sounds a bit over the top? No sadly for many ot isn’t, if you are not experiencing some or all of these issues then count yourself lucky.
So do with have a true breakdown of fuel costs from the suppliers? I haven’t found one from them or out government.
How much of the cost of has, electricity, water, or even petrol and diesel is tax, how much is due to the manufacturing of the energy, the maintaining of machines, how much the transportation and just how much the immense profits the shareholders are currently being seen to receive?
What is a supplier? Well they do not actually make nor even supply your fuel, they simply own the meter (which they don’t fit, you pay for that if it needs replacing).
They are simply a payroll department that collects the money we pay, and pays the tax, covers the basic cost of the fuel and then pays the shareholders out.
They are not ‘green’ despite their claims, they are a fake company that basically has been placed in the link to profiteer.
It’s a true privatisation model.
They do not source the fuel, with electric that is the role of the national grid (now also a private company owned abroad), they are an admin team that has no need to exist beyond dealing out profits that they make from us.
It’s the most simple con ever.
And guess what? We are the marks, the victims of this fantastically corrupt confidence trick.
Hope we all feel better knowing we line the pockets of the super rich yet again.