Sleep deprived

Here I lay in the dark with all so tightly closed eyes, yet inward I see such angry storm filled skies.

Gazing upon a raging purple sea, mountainous waves towering above the frail shadow of a marooned cast aside me.

The surging swirling currents dragging pulling deep down below, into the most hostile place I must go.

Balance or demon I can truly no longer decide, searching in the diminished light I long to again hide

In a transcendental turmoil my my mind continues to dwell, some truth in this version of a yet unseen hell

No armour to protect the feeble creature now present, all my undeclared sins being outed, I must repent

Wishing I held a host of weapons by my side, feeling sorrow that the child I once was had yet again died

Rams head decaying upon a gilded human frame, urging my past digressions to publicly goad me and defame

Longing soon this foul torment must finally end, tonight is the same, not even a divergent despair to descend

Asleep or awake the nightmare still haunts, all my pain and loss engulfs a mind with screaming taunts

Childhood innocence gave me some hope, but losing loved ones, role, ability, reason, makes it difficult to cope

Another futile sleepless night draws to conclusion, a wasted day to follow without any human inclusion

Wanting the man I once was to again reappear, but knowing deep down the cost of hope is too dear.