Jonesy, simply a human

OK a response I often get when writing about depression in particular is ‘you have so many people that love you’ and that may be so true, but that does not end the feelings of isolation. Of being alone, and for me the frustrations of seeing the world from my life to all life as it is, and yet knowing how it should be.

The number of people that like me for my moral, my writing and my outlook is so important to me, yet when things are bad, when the grey walls and thick British smog has rolled in, and has blinded me to anything outside of Mt realm of despair, I could be the most loved and popular man on the planet and it would not help. When we think of the very real examples of this are folk like Robin Williams, Kurt Cobain, Michael Hutchins, Marilyn Monroe, Sylvia Plath, or even sadly so recently Keith Flint, we realise popularity and being loved by many is not the answer.
Depression cannot be controlled, you cannot wake up and say ‘today I am going to be happy Simon’ or ‘I will just switch on the happy side’ and definitely not ‘I will just hold my chin up’, in fact when folks say chin up or just cheer up it is not only unhelpful but belittles a very real and deadly illness.
The reality is despite having crohns disease, svt of the heart, asthma and diabetes it is most likely if any illness kills me it will either be the depression or anxiety I suffer. I am here still because I hold onto being a father and the duties that entails. The main one being there to catch my children and make them realise they will always be loved, but as they grow older it becomes a lesser argument. My best friend often comes to save me but even then they are limited in time and cannot change my current reality.
Barely a day goes by where I do not either physically or mentally hold a bundle of insulin pens in my hand and ready them to be the vehicle of my release. So far the closest I have got is overdoing one injection by a few units which was very easily remedied. No one knew about this til now because it was never for effect, it however maybe just a dry run.
When I get down it’s never drink related, if already down, when I rarely do drink, it doesn’t help, but when things get truly dark I am usually sober, coherent and alone. I would love it to be that simple a catalyst, but alas there is no such obvious trigger.
There is no simple solution either. I have tried meds, tried counselling but nothing will work. I am fully aware of the causes for me. The chronic phisical illness’ the inability to work, the debt, the loss of self, the loss of direction and yes the being left alone to allow dark thoughts to fester. Overthinking is a terrible affliction especially when you cannot change things due to lack of ability or motivation.
Even if I suddenly could work, a thing I crave more than anything now, I hate not having a meaning, there are other factors in play.
This weekend I truly overdid things, meeting up with friends old and new. Feeling like I belonged again. There was a very harsh physical price which I am paying back today in the form of pain, exhaustion and immobility but it’s a price worth paying. I am today as I write this happy and relaxed. I hope for a while, but change is not at my discretion or within my control. I may be like this for days or minutes. It maybe that a random smile or post keeps me going or sadly a look or comment that Spirals me down.
Depression ribs you of so much, it puts challenges in place that sometimes sadly folk do not overcome. Those people that suffer true depression, not just being a bit upset or sad, a depression that engulfs their life, and yet they still get up each day, they are the true warriors, the bravest because when you have this illness you battle the most vile and dangerous of beasts, and yet no sword or bucket hurts it, you can be struck from any direction, it hides in the shadows, can slip into the bodies if your friends and show you things that are not there. It can attack at any time whether you felt safe or not, if you are awake or asleep, and it plays upon your fears, it eats away at your soul, it is often torture of the worst kind. It has far more weapons in its arsenal than you and the saddest thing is it truly wants to kill you, make you kill you.
That’s an enemy of note.
So this although based on my experience hits so many folk, you, your friends or your family. When you realise someone is depressed do not think you can cure them, you likely won’t. But you can support them, you can recognise the danger they are in. You can be their for them. Not everyone can be saved from the beast this illness becomes, but some can, some will live longer knowing you will be there if they need you, will take comfort from you listening to them.
Do not say come on smile, or it’s not that bad, chances are it’s far worse. You do not know there journey to get where they are, you may see the physical side, some of the causes but the biggest enemy is their own mind, the world this illness creates within our heads and hearts.
Be a real friend and listen without judgement, be a safe outlet for them, and always respect not ridicule.
I am not an expert on the illness, I have no answers on how to rid it, if I did I would not suffer it. I am just a person that fights it oh too often. I can only relate it to me, but maybe some wil recognise this war, maybe some will see we may fight upon separate fronts, but we are not alone, our battles are shared by too many.
Thank you for reading, please share if you feel able, and support my words by liking my blog at http://www.thejonesy.com
Simon/Jonesy

A deep post. If we are all only a compound of 11 chemicals, according to Wikipedia: ‘Almost 99% of the mass of the human body is made up of six elements: oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium, and phosphorus. Only about 0.85% is composed of another five elements: potassium, sulfur, sodium, chlorine, and magnesium. All 11 are necessary for life.’ how come we have such diversity amongst folk?

Now I have no belief in a god, and do onderstand about DNA, I am not even looking for answers just pondering it.
There are people that you are attracted to and that in itself is complex, it might be their looks, demeanor, confidence, smell, attitude, but often can be down to looks alone. You can look at a photo on Facebook and be drawn to someone, see them as attractive, beautiful, friendly or even fun. There may be a sexual attraction, or you may just really want to have them in your corner. Maybe you just are drawn to them because they have a nice smile.
Sometimes it may be even deeper, almost a recognition beyond this existence, and no I cannot find the words to define that beyond maybe it fes like you knew them before, in another life.
But whatever it is that we see about another person it is not that petri dish of chemicals. Every single person is an individual. We all feel pain, most of us feel love, most want to be involved in the lives of others. I think we all want or even need to feel valued, even cherished by others, but many of us don’t value ourselves.
The chemicals I am made up of made me the shell of who I am. That differs somewhat from Brad Pitt or some male supermodel. My lifestyle, meds and inability to run or even walk any distance most of the time have built up the 11 chemicals to a form that I feel resembles a beached whale but with more hair.
The point I think I am trying to make is this shell is what I have, I try to make the most of it. I often feel like I am an old transit van parked next to a Rolls Royce and a Ferrari, but these chemical still have value. I hope that my worth is more than the few pence the constituent chemicals would bring in. I hope the said chemicals have reacted to bring about the formation of something greater. That I like you am priceless.
Sadly we live in a society of folk made up out of those exact same chemicals, they often do not see our true worth, do not recognise that out value is the same as theirs.
Well if you are reading this your value, your worth is beyond priceless to me. You are not a dish of chemicals, you are a human being, you dream as I dream, you hurt as I hurt, you breath as I breath, though your hopes may be different you still hope.
We cannot let others make us feel worthless. We are not. Each one of us has value beyond measure.
We do get stuck in ruts that seem to lead at times to dark places, so when we see folk in those limited paths we need to approach them, offer a helping hand to aid them to find a new path.
This entire comment may seem disconvodulated (I dunno if that’s a real word or I just made it up) but it is how right this second I see things. I muse upon how we can help others see that we all are worth the same, no one is less because of education, looks or even luck!
I get frustrated at a world where some see themselves worth more than others. Human life is human life, whether you wear rags or a designer suit. Whether the media sees you as pretty or when people look into your soul they find your true beauty.
The things that make people more valuable to me are compassion, love, understanding and tollerence of diversity. Not ever tollerence of greed, cruelty or hate.
Sorry if this is all over the place and thank you for reading.
Jonesy

When as a party, disabled members are deliberately made to feel anxious, depressed or worse, locally or as now seems to be occurring on behalf or even direction of certain PLP members, especially when those members have disclosed and diagnosed MH issues, we need to see and recognise it as as disability discrimination and even hate crime!

I am seriously thinking of reporting the suspensions of some disabled members to the police, and even making application to the court.
I will if need be name the perpetrators, as they in my opinion are not fit to hold office.
I would just assure my friends I would never take action without the full agreement and coop of those members who are subject of this seemingly generally unfounded and corrupt cull of socialists within the party. I for one will not be bullied by a party that I am a paid member of. I am a member because of My convictions and morals and my drive to fight discrimination in all forms every day of my life. I am a member because of my belief in a fair society where ethics replace greed. I am a member to make a better country and world for all our children.
I will not be dictated to by PLP or NEC members who believe all members are equal but some more equal than others!
Suspend me and I become more vocal, stronger than you could ever Imagine. So feel free to try.
Jonesy Jones
http://www.thejonesy.com

Talking to a young nurse in Gaza. She called herself my little sister and that’s so true. She is my sister as she is a human being. We are all related, yet we allow our brothers and sisters suffer and die because they have different beliefs, different language, different skin?

The folk in Gaza, in the Yemen, in any country or community targeted by their own or a foreign government. Those oppressed, starved, evicted or killed for expansionist, for greed, for power are still my family. My duty as a human is to defend them, even at the cost of my own life. Though currently that is unlikely.
I will continue to critise any politician, government, monarchy or nation here or abroad who uses violence, aggression and oppression to subjugate people, my brothers or sisters.

I do not like every human on this planet, not even everyone in my street, but they all deserve a chance to live a free, safe and nurturing life. They all should be given the same chances in life, with no one else holding ultimate power over them. It should never be seen as a crime to live.
We should raise our heads above the parapet and challenge any society that victimise another. And nation or individual that abuses others.
With the siege and violence in Gaza I will continue to challenge the actions of Israel against the people. I will not be called anti Semite for standing up against in humane tactics.
In the Yemen I will challenge the Saudis and yes Britain for training and supplying arms to their military. In Syria and Lybia the Americans, the British and all foreign protagonists.
We in Britain are not the world police, we live in a morally deficient and cruel country. Our government is waging a war of attrition against the sick, poor, vulnerable and disabled. I continue to stand against this.
I will name and blame any politician who u see as abusing their position of trust. My life is dedicated to standing against any tyranny.
So remember we are brothers and sisters, we have differences but should cherish them, not fear or despise because of them.
Stand up, fight and give our world a chance of a better future.
Jonesy Jones
http://www.thejonesy.com

Just how can a country with so little remaining industry and produce intend to trade competitively against China, Africa, India, Russia and almost anywhere else?

We cannot match the USA for production or even cost.
All our truly profitable companies are registered abroad so the UK does not even reap the taxation benefits.
The biggest representative sector of retail on the High streets are charity shops. Followed by monopolies such as Tesco, Asda (American owned) Lidl and Aldi also overseas owned.
The coal industry was destroyed by the Tories, Ship building destroyed by the Tories (most new naval contracts are given to overseas companies with no base in the UK). Aero industry such as BAE, now ignored due to their partnerships with EU countries, so guess what? We are importing sub standard American planes instead of updating and developing our own.
Folk still believe Brexit will bring about a proud, self governing nation, they are blind to the fact that once it happens we will be feeding on American scraps offered with conditions far more severe to our independence than the EU ever demanded.
Brexit will not save the UK from control it will leave us even more subjugated but by America not Europe. The USA already have threatened to ensure that if we democratically elect Jeremy Corbyn they will intervene to ensure he does not take up the position of Prime Minister.
The Tories know things are going to get truly bad here, that’s why for the last two years the army including the paras have been undertaking training to deal with civil unrest on British streets.
Ireland is already close to returning to the division of the last century. And this seems just to be collateral damage for the Tories.
You will gain nought from Brexit. The suggested restrictions on immigration firstly has no bearing on illigal immigration, because its illegal it will continue or even grow under a Brexit Britain. Secondly there will be fare more refugees because we will be even more tied in to America’s financial imperialism and invasion tactics. More bombing of innocents in the name of oil and minerals.
The immigrants that we need to function as a society will not be allowed in so no NHS or even education. No research and development. No sharing of tech. The USA guards its tech advances with strict conditions.
We will be dependent on USA pharma companies or paying three to for times as much if any European companies decide to trade with us.
The thing is I am being ‘conservative’ with this commentary. Things may be even worse. We will have fewer individual rights and almost none as a society. The Tories are determined to end the welfare state. There will be no safety net for any of us.
It’s not that hard to imagine us being refugees, trying to escape to better lives away from the UK.
Have a think, what do you think the positives of Brexit are, for you? Will you suddenly get better jobs? More money? Better homes? Cheaper food? Cheaper Holidays? Better health? Better education? I seriously think not.
What will you gain honestly?
The entire Brexit fiasco was based on fraudulent lies. And now the worst perpetrators of those dishonest antics is our Prime Minister! You couldn’t make this crap up.
Proud to be British? Can you eat pride? Will it keep you warm? Safe? Will it protect your families? I doubt it.
But seemingly so many seem to see Brexit as a good idea. I would call us cattle but no they at least get fed before slaughter.
Think on.
Jonesy Jones

OK here’s a little truth Jonesy style. In years gone by the rulers of this country, the royals, aristocracy, land owners, and business needed us. We were the workforce, the infrastructure, the people that made them powerful, made thir lives comfortable and luxurious and made their money.

The world has moved on. In the UK there is now little industry, tech has taken over from people in manufacturing, farming, even the service industry. Our roles are fast dying out. The wealthy and super rich have almost stripped Britain of all its assets. The infrastructure should be more aimed at controlling and supporting the poor and vulnerable, however that costs profits, that limits the money they (the rich) can leech from us, we now are no longer useful, we are becoming a nuisance to them. Our lives drain their ability to profiteer. Most of us are now but a measuring stick of the gap between the poor, and the super, no mega rich.
These people but cars worth more than your entire road, sail boats worth more than your village, they own islands even small countries.

They own us.

Are you in any debt? If so they own you. Do you rent your home? If so you are at their mercy. Do you still have a job? If you do then even if its in the NHS or local government you work for them.

Talking of the NHS, they want it destroyed, we do not deserve health. Our lives are valueless and more so each day to these people.

I was brought up believing life was worth more than any amount of money, to our parents we usually are, but to those in control we are actually better off dying. They believe the world is theirs.

Do they fight their wars for wealth, oil, profit, land and power? No our sons and daughters do. They die for the profiteering of arms, oil and mineral companies.

It really is this simple. Try going in a bar or restraint frequented by these vile bastards, see how they look at you, treat you, feel their contempt and amusement. You, we are just entertainment to them. Playthings.

Why do with have no industry? Because we are crap at making things? No the reverse. We are a brilliantly innovative society, or were, but there was more profit in asset stripping. There is more profit in buying and selling shares in foreign companies, offshore tax havens than there is in managing British industry. There is more profit where the labour has no rights. Oh no why do the Tories want to scrap the human rights act, the workers rights, destroy the unions?

It really is that simple. This commentary scratches the surface of the real Britain, the real world, but you need to understand this, see it as the truth in order to open your eyes and minds to today’s reality.

The mega rich and powerful are not lizards or aliens, they are simple evolution of greed, violence and a public school elitist education system designed to trap the masses in poverty and hardship.

Think about your world the little distractions they grant you in order to take away your motivation, the lies they feed you to distract your focus, the divisions they deliberately build between families, communities, races, culture. Whilst your hating your neighbour you are not seeing the damage these human vultures are doing as they strip your carcasses of every shred of humanity.

We need to be the generation of the turning worm. We need to reject their claim to power. We need to recognise what they are and what they do.
Why do you think they hate the idea of socialism why do the cling on to newspapers in an electronic world? Often running them at a loss?

Please please open your eyes to the truth. This is our world, and it wil be even worse for our children and theirs unless we make a stand.

Thank you for reading, please have a think.

JONESY (Human being)

http://www.thejonesy.com

Any MP of any party that accepts money. Gifts or holidays from a foreign government or security agency must be regarded as a potential security risk and investigated for treason.

These MP’s need holding to account and to be seen as undermining democracy. As such once such a relationship is identified they should be removed from their position and be prevented and excluded from holding public office again. Cash and goods should be seized and passports revoked for convicted offenders.
These investigations should be independent of parliamentary or government control. A Seperate autonomous agency should carry out any such enquiries. It should truly be that simple. MP’s hold a position of utmost trust and a huge amount of power. Any corruptive or fraudulent activities should be prosecuted, and absolutely when this involves a foreign government or even business or agency needs to be seen and prosecuted as high treason to our country and the people. No exclusions.

This post is likely to cause consternation for some folk.

I live about 20 miles from Whaley Bridge, I used to live much closer and spent my formative years walking around there, spending a lot of time on the canal there, drinking there and socialising there.
I have friends that live there who I may not keep in touch with enough, but do love and respect.

The village, for its not a big place compared to other towns locally, is beautiful and very friendly. It is not as well known as say Buxton or Castleton but it is quirky and historic.
The memories I carry of Whaley are with me always.
What is happening now is horrific for not only the residents but for all that know Whaley. The thought of it being submerged and possibly wiped away is beyond scary. It saddens me that it may be due in no small part to attempts to save money and some misguided or worse failing of merging the authorities responsible for waterways and resovoirs. Any inquest into the crisis will clarify blame and the cause, I am sure (maybe).
The reason this is however a contentious post is that I am just going to briefly make a comparrason between this and the truly devastating incident which included a huge loss of life at Grenfell Tower, the block of flats destroyed by fire, which killed so many people due to a Tory council making dangerous decisions, based upon cost cutting.
Since the incident hit the headlines the oafish Prime Minister has flown down to make promises of rehousing everyone who may lose their homes if the dam truly breaks. Now absolutely this should and must happen. It seems Johnson not only has said something positive and reassuring, but managed to grab some headlines in an attempt to increase his waning popularity. It has helped him in so much as Whaley is a wealthy predominantly Conservative area, with a majority of residents being white, middle class and even land owners.

I am absolutely sure that in the event of true disaster most of his promise will be kept. I doubt the most economically vulnerable in the area will see the fruits of his assurance but the more well off certainly will.
Now its clear that at Grenfell similar promises were eventually made by the then prime minister Theresa May. She did not react anywhere near as quickly and sadly it seems her promises were for the majority (pretty much all) the residents false. It is also worth noting that Boris Johnson, previous Mayor of London made cuts to the fire service and ignored warnings that did likely result in the death toll at Grenfell being so huge.
Now again I reiterate anyone in Britain who falls foul of disaster should have their crucial needs met by the government. We need a protective infrastructure that comes into effect in times of crisis. However, this needs to happen for all in any crisis, it should not be conditional upon economic worth, colour of skin, immigration status, religion, or who you likely will vote for. Human life is human life. It needs protection from the beginning to end of any crisis. If people lose everything then we as a country need to give them hope of rebuilding their lives. Whoever they are.
I do not want to take anything that has been promised away from those human beings in Whaley Bridge, not anything, but I want promises to count, those making the promises held to account across the board. Everyone to be given protection, security and humane consideration.
So yes provide emergency accommodation (I already have offered my home and my parents motorhome if needed to shelter folk), provide a means of rebuilding lives, invest in the future of this community, but, invest in the future of every community, every family, every person hit by any disaster. That is humanity. That should be our morality. That must be our way.
Jonesy.
http://www.thejonesy.com

To those who earn under £79,000 a year. (mp salary)

If you are not going to vote Labour, whether because your parents didn’t, you ‘remember’ the 70’s (the unions had too much power – no you had workers rights), don’t like terrorist sympathiser – IRA Corbyn – actually not a supporter of the IRA but a peace maker helping to give the people of Ireland 20yrs of relative peace, along with reducing the threat of you getting blown up, or our families and friends being killed, want Brexit – yes remove your rights as a worker and human being, its the lemming syndrome, not a commi – socialism is not communism. We believe in a fair society where there are safety nets such as entitlement to housing, food, warmth, water, health and yes community.
There are even muppets that think Labour is soft on immigration, however they do not see that by not bombing countries for profiteering big business – usually based in the USA, means less refugees, means we are not killing men women and children to sate the greed of the rich and we are looking at ways of making the world safer not more deadly.
Labour do not intend to suddenly open our borders to everyone (though I personally do not believe in Borders) they believe in allowing refuge and migration to those who need it, and those who contribute. What’s the point in having a NHS without doctors and nurses?
Labour believe in opportunity, in development, in a better world.
Oh Labour are going to cut our armed forces – mmmn let’s see who cancelled the catapult off our aircraft carriers making them reliant on an American plane that has cost ten times what we agreed to? Who has reduced the army, airforce and navy to the point they cannot patrol shipping lanes or keep ships safe? Who removed support for ex service folk and still see them committing suicide or living on the streets? Who signed up for a nuclear missile that can only be fired by the Americans? Who destroys the regiment, squadrons and flotillas? Who sends our friends sons and daughters off to die for oil and greed without even the equipment needed to survive?
So if you do not like Jeremy Corbyn, is your dislike of an honest gentle dedicated man worth you voting to make the rich more wealthy and you along with your family closer to living in the gutter?
You can live a life with hope or one of subservile oppression. The choice truly is yours. But you need to decide soon, the true way forward – Labour or carry on believing the lies fed to you by the tory/suoer-rich controlled media. Maybe lemmings are more intelligent than the average person living in Britain? We will see.
Jonesy Jones
http://www.thejonesy.com