Jonesy, simply a human

It seems like 5 minutes since the chimes of Big Ben were bringing in the year 2000, all the worry about the collapse of the world due to a virtually none existent millennium bug.

My daughter was not quite 2 and my son still only a twinkle in my eye. I was I thought happily married and we had our home together. I was doing my qualifications and working full time. We had just moved to Bradwell in Derbyshire and had friends a plenty.
Since then the world for me and everyone has changed, the bug did little to cause disruption to our lives, but the banks, the corruption in government and the establishment did lots to ruin and destroy us.
My marriage broke down after my wonderful son was born, I was no longer required it seems, I went trouble shooting all over the UK.
I have been beaten by one partner, destroyed by another and various other things good and bad have happened to me as an individual.
I lost my health, and that showed me more than anything how bad things have got in the UK. I had been working in all different communities protection children and their families. It was much more than a job and during that time I saw the best and worst in people, but nothing in all those years prepared me for the journey from being a respected if not always liked person, who went out to work and was seen to be paying into the system, to what still feels as if a creature, seen as no longer having value in our society. A drain on that same system my tax and NI contributed to.
I still feel even when amongst friends the need to apologise for needing to live on those very entitlements this so called welfare system was designed to provide.
Upon meeting new people I feel ashamed when asked what I do and can only respond with “I was….”. This shame is enforced by a bigotry that over the last 20yrs has been pushed and pushed by successive governments and establishment figures.
The vile programmes like Benefits Britain, can’t pay we will take it away, Jeremy (arsehole) Kyle…… the list goes on designed to dehumanise the most vulnerable in society and focus blame upon them for being ill, for not coping and yes at times sadly lacking in the ability to make the decisions required by this capitalist greed motivated society.
Whilst the ‘moral majority’ are laughing, entertained and angry at these truly vulnerable folk, they are ignoring the bankers, shareholders and politicians stripping our economy of assets.
The facilities and services we owned being sold off to investors for quick profit then to lonk term shareholders who once we are paying triple for those services get huge returns on their investments.
The health service which if there is another tory or tory led coalition wil no longer exist has already been brought to its knees through stealth privatisation. Even the doctors and nurses are telling you all how bad it is but their words are falling upon death ears.
People refusing to vote for the only party that can bring us back from the very brink of the most hellish future because they either believe the lies that a honest man who brokered peace, who stood against hate his entire life suddenly supports terrorism and hates Jewish people, or just don’t like him because some Australian tycoon has told them not to through his media outlets.
There was once a time I truly believed the people of Britain thought for themselves, had morals and cared about others, but it seems although there are still a few of us that do, we are waning, we are in a minority, that the majority here are either not interested in anything outside of their little bubble or worse just like to feel superior because they are a particular colour, a particular culture a particular class or caste, they are educated, they are healthy, they own their car or house, they have money, they wear designer clothes, they once met a royal, they have letters after their names, they…..
Well the thing is I am educated, I had money, I worked. I got ill. And now I am treated by too many as if I have no value at all.
Because I can’t work I have few choices, I can’t get credit, not even a ten pound overdraft with the bank. I have my bikes but I bought most when I could afford them and they don’t equate to the value of a new or even nearly new low cost car. I buy my clothes from charity shops. I eat one meal a day. I had to borrow from family just to go away for one night down the road.
I have no reserves, nothing to leave my kids, nothing to mark my time upon this planet.
I find looking beyond today so hard, and living tomorrow even harder.
That is what society has done, my illnesses too my role, society took my worth.
That’s the truth as I see it. You all have different experiences. Different values. Different morals. But you all, every single one of you could end up here or even worse, for at the end of the day I have a roof, sadly many now don’t.
So when you think about spongers don’t think of the sick, disabled or even refugees, for they are not, think of the bankers, the shareholders, politicians, policymakers and those sad little officious bureaucrats that facilitate their corruption and cruelty.
Think about the last 20 years. Think about the truth. I hope for your sakes you are never ill or injured.
If you vote in the Conservatives or their Lib Dem partners in crime you will condemn us all.
Jonesy Jones

Sadly today a long time friend got truly angry telling me Corbyn is IRA sympathiser and a ‘jew hater’ (his words) I explained it was not true and could prove, it to be told he wasn’t going to listen to a socialist communist like me. We left still friends but his anger clearly displayed to me that we are not going to ever convince some folk, especially ex squaddies who were brainwashed to see socialism as communism and a tool of the enemy.
Now I am not tarring all ex service folk with that view by any account, and despite his anger we remain friends, but many sadly do not see beyond propaganda and were taught to obey the establishment without question.
I have massive respect to all who served and myself tried to enlist but was turned down twice in the recruiting office in Stockport. Being a fat lad seemingly meant I would be useless. I regret never making the grade, I hope my career made a difference to lives before health took that too from me.
There are many others who have never served but through conditioning from being small children will always believe in aristocracy, royalty and celebrity. Will continue no matter how hard we try to show the truth, to believe money is a measure of worth, and will never see humanity, kindness and morality as having any value.
Sadly its the attitudes of these folk who follow the establishment like cattle, queuing for the slaughterhouse that make my life so hard to continue.
I don’t want wealth, don’t want acclaim, I want a fair and humane society where it’s the caring about people not numbers in a bank account that are strived for.
It’s that simple. Truly.
I may never wake up to it, but if things don’t change it will reach a point through one cause or another I and countless others will not wake up ever again.
Jonesy Jones

I solemly pledge allegiance to the people of Earth. I recognise no governance to greed, to cruelty or discrimination. I refute war for material or spiritual gain.
I do not recognise any supplanted government or their masters. I believe in democracy until such time democracy is usurped for those wanting power and control.
I as a human being reserve the right to breach law and convention to ensure that human life, animal life and our environment are protected and kept safe from those who seek to or continue to do wrong.

This current society seems to be rife with untruths about immigration. I would like to just point out the truth as I know it. People continue to tell me that illegal immigrants are here taking our benefits, jobs and homes. I worked in the communities for years. This is such a common misconception. Illegal means they get no benefits, no assistance and no housing. Illegal immigrants are basically slaves to drug and protetution gangs on the whole. Corrupt businessmen from their home countries and here import them as slave labour. They may be promised good conditions but they do not get them. An illegal immigrant has to hid from the government and if found are put in a specifically designed holding prison until deportation. I think you may be thinking of refugees, they can claim asylum, they have no recourse to public funds, and again are held in the secure centres until a decision is made. They then will be housed in rented not council accommodation, which usually is the cheapest of slums, they get food vouchers for one particular shop in the local area. Do not believe the sun, mail, times, express or any of the establishment media. I know the truth because I worked with families trying to seek asylum with kids. These people that get to remain have fled real war, torture, death and famine. They are human beings that need support, and most are stateless because we or our allies destroyed their homes. It’s that simple. And on today especially we should be remembering all those who suffer or suffered through war.
The other comments are all ________ whichever religion, race, nationality or culture, sometimes even gender, sexuality or ability…… are….. Crooks, violent, abusers, thieves the list goes on no agreed some will be all of these, but so will some folk that are just like you. No one group can be tarred with the behaviour of individuals, even those of extremists, we have extremists in every faction in Britain and throughout the world. Our prisons hold white, British male paedophiles, murderers, rapists, thieves, even yes terrorists.
So think on before you allow hate an bigotry to rule your life, to control your actions, do influence your rational.
Sorry if this upsets you but its the simple truth.

The engines strain at their worn and rusty mounts.
Bolts working loose the revs increase every second counts.
Another peak then trough jolting my already aching spine.
I grab the rail knowing the day may still be mine.
An explosion lights the sky off on the starboard side.
Another flash behind telling me his aim was a little wide.
I see the effervescent tracks marking out a eerie grid.
The voice beside me cut short as a shard kills the young mid.
The boat beside me stops still and glows bright red.
I feel the blast, knowing her crew, my friends are all now dead.
I shout my orders, which can only surely fall on deaf ears.
My eyes scan the wrecked bridge and I now realise all my fears.
No one can have lived through such devastation I decide.
But movement amongst the destruction puts paid to that visual lie.
I pull myself up forcing my inner self to carry on.
The small fair haired subbie now looking done in and wan.
Blood pools and offal now making each step slip.
I feel the deck rise then fall into what seems an endless dip.
Another salvo from our main four point seven inch guns.
The fear of capsize as the turbulent sea hurriedly runs.
Finally on her the glow of fire betrays a direct hit.
This no longer a one sided duel although we aren’t fighting fit.
A cheer is raised from our now skeleton crew.
We aim our bows at her, vowing to sink her I promise a new.
No longer noticing the tracer and explosive splashes.
Knowing it’s scant seconds til through her our bow smashes.
Alas the poor Glowworm won’t survive this day.
She hits the Hipper then the demon depths pull her away.
My lungs fill with salt water my life may end here.
But our story will live on in history for many a year.
At home our families will have pride of what we achieve.
Though that will help only little as they continue to grieve.

Again Mogg & the Tories are attempting to allay blame for Grenfell. The crux of it is that remaining in the flats was standard procedure. This would have saved almost all the victims if the Conservative Council and our mate (not really a mate, the vile scum that is…) Boris had not chose to cut corners and had clad the building in materials that met basic Fire standards. They were aware of the risks and aware that in the event of fire cutting costs will likely kill, however in their corrupt world money is always more important than people.
The Firemen did what they were trained to do. The risked their lives, they put aside their safety to save those people and because of yet more Tory corruption were unable to do so.
The victims of the fire hold no blame despite Moggs assurance they lacked the common sense to save themselves. They were instructed to stay in their homes, this was under the orders of the fire officers, this given usual conditions would have meant the fire service had space to work, space to fight the fire and space to save lives, it also would have prevented panic and if the safety guidance and building regulations had been adhered to would have again likely saved injury and loss of life.
There is blame for Grenfell, there are those who should be held accountable for each and every person who died, but those are not the fire fighters, not the victims, not their surviving family and friends, it is the Conservative Party and the then incumbent Lord Mayor of London, Mr Boris Johnson. It is absolutely that simple. But because they are in power no charges for manslaughter or corporate murder will be levied, they will continue to laugh and joke at their champagne dinners whilst the ashes of those who died will for ever more just blow in the wind, a testimonial to how corrupt the Conservatives truly are.

Let us always remember the 14th June 2017 as the date the true worth put upon human life by the Conservatives and the Establishment became apparent.

Jonesy Jones

With this election coming up the Establishment are desperate to ensure that Labour do not get in.

The Conservatives, Lib-Dems, Brexit Party, whoever Farage calls himself, and a number of the more inconsequential parties are working to ensure the Establishment, the Rich, the Corporations and their minions continue to hold onto power at any cost.

These people are so desperate they are paying people with no affiliation other than financial to discredit the Labour Party. There will be all sorts of dirty tricks from slurs to open threats, to more allegations and lies.

These people and all the Establishment controlled media will focus their broadsides upon us. They will rewrite the facts to suit their own flawed arguments. They will tell us ‘Labour did…. ‘ and reel out all sorts of crap. They will tell you Labour created Austerity, which they did not. New Labour firstly was neo-Liberal, not the Socialist party we have made it once more, it supported the Establishment under Blair. He was a prime minister with no conviction, a career politician who saw opportunity and went for it. Blair was and is as greedy as any Tory, his links to the Establishment are now truly visible. Brown did lean a little toward the left but after taking over from Blair his hands were sullied and tied. Even given this New Labour did not cause Austerity. Yes they were responsible for trying to bail out the Establishment, due to the bankers betting our money for personal gain and losing. It was corruption here and abroad. The argument was that if the banks went under our economy would suffer. And sadly despite us paying out a huge amount it still suffered, yet within weeks the bankers even of the so called failing banks were paying themselves huge bonuses from our pockets. Note the banks have not offered to bail out our economy and prevent the lie that is Austerity.

It was however still not Labour that brought in Austerity measure, yes some cuts were made but The Conservatives under Cameron were very much the ones that designed the Austerity measures. Osborne was the chief architect of Austerity.

Austerity was not about sorting out the economy, it was absolutely and only about greed and profiteering. The arguments were that New Labour were taking Britain into huge debt, but at this point its worth noting that the debt now under 9yrs of Tory control is beyond anything Labour in any incarnation caused. The plan was simple, to run down public owned services to such a point that they could not function, then under the guise of rescuing them bring in back door privatisation, using companies set up and run by friends, families and even members of the Conservative Government. Their plan has so far worked perfectly for them, even though it is likely at least a quarter of a million of our friends and families have died through their measures and the subsequent attacks on the sick, disabled and vulnerable.

They have scapegoated these people to blame them and not the rich for the cuts and money being bled out of our economy. ‘scroungers’ defrauding the benefit system you pay for. The scary thing is people believe this twaddle.
Well I can say clearly now, I had a career, I got ill. My career was well paid and rewarding. It was pretty much my life. I now am one of those so called scroungers, I seemingly happily gave up my self worth, respect and financial stability to be sat all day in a council bungalow with no way to see a future. Rubbish, being upon entitlements, these are not benefits, is not a choice for anyone. And the fight to get enough to exist, never mind live has caused so many to give up.

But as with everything this government and their supporters do, it’s easy to divide us by laying blame on those who cannot fight back.
Under Austerity we are losing the NHS, we are losing state control of public services. We are losing or rather through huge levels of government run fraud being stripped of our assets and stolen from.
All this is bad enough but then comes Brexit.

Brexit was a stroke of genius and at the same time the most foolish thing any government could do.

Brexit is only about tax and fraud. It is not about Britain regaining some control the likes of you and me never had, its not about national pride, its not about flag waving or even the racism and hate its caused. It is only about two things, its about greed and dividing the masses further.

Cameron was pushed into a public referendum which we must note was never a binding vote, to divert us from the implications of Austerity, the corruption of his government and family, it was as far as he was concerned a public relations tactic, and he unlike his real masters misread the mood of the country.

At that point the EU had been blamed for all sorts of ridiculous things in the British press and sadly today’s society gets more irate at the prospect of a straight cucumber than at their neighbour dying of hyperthermia because they could afford to put on the gas. Yes the EU discussed some pathetic things but no one pointed out our government did the same throughout history. They also did not push the achievements of the EU such as the human rights act, employment rights and the other protections brought in due to huge moves forward within what was in our minds a community. Now the EU is flawed, I am not a huge supporter of it as it is now, but with work and a change of direction, that may be coming it could make Europe the greatest non martial society the world has seen. Maybe that’s just a pipe dream but sadly now we likely will never know. Britain is even more flawed, we now have the most corrupt and possibly cruel government on earth. Granted we do not yet have soldiers controlling our streets but the legislation is there for it to happen. We don’t have mass graves but we have paupers graves a plenty. We are the fourth, fifth or sixth richest country depending on what day you are reading this, yet we have people dying of starvation on our streets.

Brexit was built on outright lies, not fibs but lies. Most people didn’t vote but those that did generally picked sides and stuck to them. Sadly I wasn’t one of these. I voted to remain but could easily have voted out too. When the result came in the government and even the ‘Leave’ leaders were shocked and had no plan. The establishment however rubbed their hands with glee. Why? Because they knew the tax legislation (laws) being brought in by the EU would not only cost them money (their god) but expose the massive fraud and corruption they are responsible for.
So now instead of focusing upon this, upon the results of Austerity we argue over passport colour.

The level of desperation the Establishment now are at at is beyond comprehension. They know Brexit or not, if Labour get in their profiteering will be culled more effectively than any badger population they murdered. They realise if they are exposed the country and yes maybe their world will change. They may lose their power and control for the first time since the world saw it happen in 1917.

Now they wil try calling us all sorts. Anti this or anti that, but they will also claim we are radical communists. We are not. Communism is a utopian dream the the human species is not yet ready for, and may never be, we are socialists, we fight not for equality in everything, but fairness and morality. Equal chances, resources and safety nets. No one suggests a bus driver (which I was one many years ago) be paid the same as a surgeon. But why should a banker be paid more than any nurse or even nursing auxiliary? Why put more faith in money and power than in people. Why do we as a society have more off licences than youth clubs and parks? Yet we then blame kids for being ferral when often they are just kids.
There are so many real reasons we need to win this election, the environment, social housing, public services, health services the list is endless, but my driving force is simply to leave our children, the future, a country and a planet with hope and yes fair chances. Its that simple to me.

So we will be battered, we will be discredited, we will be attacked on social media and personally. We will be lied to and called out, criticised and threatened. We need to stay strong. We can win this and frankly we have to win this. So take heart my friends the fight, the real fight has begun.
Jonesy

Let’s remember Austerity was to pay to keep the banks from going under. In less than a few months of our bailing them out with our money, yes I was still working then, they were giving directors and shareholders bonuses again.

We are still paying off their debt to us. Are they offering us even a repayment plan, interest, are they offering to bail us out of Austerity? No they bloody are not.

They are being protected by their own shareholders in government.
That is why people die living homeless, without food, shelter, warmth, belongings, respect or dignity upon our streets.

It is the excuse needed to asset strip and sell off our NHS.
It was the cause of the shift in society that means its OK and acceptable, even promoted and rewarded to hate the sick, disabled, vulnerable, to once more push racist and hare filled views.

It is how the government have explained away the cruel murderous systems that have made claiming entitlements so hard that many die even before a decision is made.
Austerity was a lie. It is not over. It is killing us, destroying lives and ending all that was good, humane and gave pride to Britain.

So yep be a fool and continue to vote Conservative, or even vote the those who betray under false colours, the Lib Dems, it is you, your family and all of us ‘commoners’ that suffer. But don’t defend your decision with ‘but I don’t like Corbyn’ or ‘Corbyn supports the IRA’ or ‘Labour mean mor Illegal immigrants’ which as with the IRA slur is a polar opposite from the truth. Illegal immigrants are brought into the UK bu business owners who will use them as slaves, they do not take your jobs, they do not take benefits, they are just abused by greedy criminals, foul companies and if caught are imprisoned and sent home. You mistake illegal immigrant for refugee, which is a human fleeing violence, death and war, that usually we have been involved in.

So don’t tell me any of the crap excuses you tell yourself, I have a brain, I don’t buy into propaganda, I look into reality, I worked in communities, in the system. I know the truth.

So keep your excuses and live with the terror you sew if Britain remains under Conservative control.
Jonesy

Brain fog is truly pissing me off. I feel ostracised by friends because I forget things. Social anxiety is through the roof. I am sat here with nothing to do, less pain than usual, but cannot think beyond my door step. Scared to leave the house today so far. I am battling it. Even when with friends feeling a complete outsider.
I could get on the bike and ride somewhere, anywhere. I just have no confidence in myself today.
Maybe irs partly not wanting to leave as won’t want to come back?
I know some already thinking shut the hell up, stop droning on. Some will ridicule. And some do care.
I am feeling like I don’t really know my own mind, nor am I even sure I want to.
Every day I try to be positive and even on my very worse days of late have at least attempted not to put on folk or bare my soul.
I try to give support to anyone, but today see my defence weakening, my ammunition against depression and especially now my anxiety being depleted. Battles are harder to fight, the war may soon be lost.
Yes I am miserable, I am whining, I am self obsessed it seems, but this is who I have become through losing my purpose.
Your pain likely is worse than mine, I am not competing, mine has worn me down.
I do escape, I do push myself to pretend, but not sure I can for much longer.
People think “he rides a bike so can’t be ill”, luckily those folk are not my GP or consultants, all who continue to tell me to keep riding for physical mobility and for a break from mental overload.
I know according to society I just should sit in my wheel chair un moving unless to pee in a bottle. Yes I have a wheel chair, no I don’t use it because I have been physically attacked from using my crutches. If I need my chair I stay in my house. That’s my prison on those days.
I come across on here as confident, as a bit daft, as a git maybe? I wish I were. I have passed up on opportunities both social and more because I do not feel worthy to be here.
I still battle every day to remain, but when try to talk to those who should be there I am told to shut up, to not talk like that. I am reminded my words, my truth upsets them. They might end it off with “I love you though”.
I have phases where I feel OK, where I am with those who genuinely are glad to be around me. But that is once again becoming rare.
This post is not for attention, its not for sympathy or “hugs”. I cannot just pull myself together, I cannot hold my chin up. It will not Al come out in the wash. This is what is left of me. It’s not the human I want to be. I want to belong in this world but feel every day more like I don’t.
I am not planning to do anything silly, I am not crying out for attention or help. I am simply letting the world know how I feel most of the time.
Today may be the first day of the rest of my life or it may be at the spectrums other end. I truly do not know.
I have waited and waited for change, but society is broken, hate and the l’m all right Jack’ attitude prevails. I try to promote love, compassion and kindness through my own deeds but see how much I am failing in that.

When I was a child in school I never thought I would reach forty. I have beat that, but maybe I shouldn’t have. Maybe I should have given up when I still had a marriage, still had my kids and was just an anonymous drone.
Will life change? I actually can’t see it doing so. Well not in any good way.
Sorry for all this if you chose to read it. I chose to post it because possibly someone may realise they are not alone in their thoughts. That others see the world through the same barbed wire and smoke.

Yes I know I am depressed. I have spoke to my GP. I was turned down for support even upon appealing to them. So no comments about talking to anyone. I am not suicidal as writing this, just being a realist.
Please don’t attack me as cannot take any more. I am not being critical of others, just self actualisation of my true value to the universe.
I was working through this but can’t see any light.
Sorry again.
Simon

Remember Remember the Tory & Lib Dem Agenda. To America the great NHS Surrender
#NHSsellout