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Warning Not meant to be a self indulgent or whinging article but may well seem so. Therefore if you do not like such words I suggest you move on now!

Every morning I wake up hoping to have a positive, pain free and energy filled day. I have things I planned and want/need to do. I have chores and then social needs to fulfil.
Sadly I have chronic illness. This means in my case due to several debilitating conditions from Crohns Disease, Diabetes, Fibromyalgia, Neuropathy, SVT of the heart to anxiety and depression brought on by the other illnesses and the effect upon my life, I cannot often fulfil any of my commitments to even myself let alone others.
Yes I do have good days, days where all aligns so for a while I can pretend to myself and others that I am not ill, that I am a healthy 50 odd year old blokey, but I am never ever pain free.
I cannot be somewhere and decide yep I will stay over at a B&B because I am likely not to have any meds with me (twenty odd tablets and lots of injections daily) but even if I have may not be able to vacate the room on time or at all the next day.
I may often agree to come along to an event or party but sadly am probably unlikely to get there, even if pain levels do allow such ideas , my social anxiety or lack of self worth may not.
When folk say every day is a struggle they are telling the truth. I have to argue each morning for a reason to remain here, luckily as a parent the weight of the discussion is usually stacked in favour of remaining alive, but often its close and I am not ever sure of the outcome.
Remember these illnesses caused me to end a career I loved, stripped my self esteem and took all I saw as the important side of me. I now have no self confidence and even those brief pipe dreams I do get are often quickly dissolved by either my own fears of not being good enough or the decisions of others that I am a liability to their social group.
Its not ever long for those that say they understand to drift away, sometimes it seems on an aggressive rip tide.
The reason I started this article with the warning is because so many times those on social media that disagree with my views will post that they ‘unfriended’ (a facebook word for fell out with) me because of my self indulgent wining or whinging rants. Sadly for them I do use facebook and other media to share my experiences, sometimes people in the same position will relate to my words and gain a recognition that they are not alone, other times folk with no such challenges to their lives may see that there are people who are ill and are not just pretending. You cannot see m illness, not by looking at me. I look like a middle aged chap with his own views upon expected fashion.
Yes I do ride a motorbike on good days, at I may ad my consultants orders as it is gentle exercise that does not challenge my body but encourages movement! Those who have never ridden may not realise that. But you do not pedal a motorbike nor if you ride right do you hold its weight. Even then its rare i get out.
I am made to by society as are all disabled to feel guilty for trying to live on my better days as a pose to existing often in a pain, exhaustion and depression induced purgatory upon the rest.
This is but a small snapshot of my life and that of many others. There are many others far worse off but when in that constant daily pain, when you are physically and emotionally drained, cocooned in your enclosed enforced prison that home becomes it is difficult to remember that. I/we do become self indulgent, I/we do moan, for life often is but that existence, though with luck a sprinkle or two of living does occur too.
So again sorry if my words miff you off, sorry if I offend you by not committing or letting you down, but sadly every day, yes every single day I let me down. That is my life, but I have no choice, you cannot ‘unfriend’ yourself, well not until the day comes where I finally lose the argument!
Jonesy Jones
Triker Poet
http://www.thejonesy.com

Why am I frustrated? Angry? Pissed off? Suicidal? Maybe because all my life choices have gone and my life is marginalised as are those of so many others. I no longer count. I pretend I can keep going but do not think will be for much longer. This is no longer my world! Not my reality. Chance of ever thriving now zilch and no longer prepared to just exist.
I could earn my keep. I worked hard to get my career. I was damn good at it.
I hate not working. I hate not coping. I hate constant pain. I hate spending a day trying to live then paying for it ten times over with all my reserves. I hate breaking down, i hate not remembering, I hate collapsing, I hate not being able to be comfortable, I hate not being able to bear clothes or sheets on my skin, I hate pity, I hate guilt, I hate accusations, I hate having to claim the entitlements we work for, I hate society, I hate now, I hate that I am full of hate, I hate me!
Make sense? Does to me.
No pity or ‘hugs’, do not say chin up, man up, pull yerself together! Do not minimise my grief for the future I planned, the past I lost!
Don’t like me posting this? Me neither, but its letting it out right now or …….. So feel free to move on, you don’t need to read my words, to comment or respond. No one owes me anything. The world owes me nought. My debts cannot be paid.
Jonesy

Wibble wibble the quite insane prime minister declares
All big B J can do is lick her bum cheeks and inanely glare
She has given her final last ditch political concession
Her golden resignation, but sadly no wakizashi to end her obsession.

Do you know what will happen if we leave the EU or dont leave? I dont, all I know is the bollocks both sides spread.

I do know the Tories are killing off the sick and disabled, are putting folks including ex service people on the streets, have robbed our kids of school meals, are intent on re-dividing Ireland, are robbing our resources and stripping us of public owned assets to sate their greed.
The parasites making decisions about our economy, our society, or health, our support services, our lives and more importantly to me the lives of our friends and family are not doing so with our interests at heart, they are profiteering in every way.
Before private companies were brought in costing us much more through taxes and NI contributions the NHS ran well, the buses were on time, people could afford to heat their homes, people could afford to be ill, to be disabled and not be disadvantaged, to live. Now so many cannot.
Zero hour contracts are their to benefit who? You? Your son or daughter?
Paying to see your GP aids who? Haven’t you already paid?
Saving a few million on building social housing allows them to give away billions to fake companies, does that give you opportunity?
Dropping bombs in our name that costs billions upon folk that we never met is right because why?
Spending millions on a royal wedding and then fining folk for existing on the streets is moral in which universe?
Brexit may be important but all the other shit is far more so.
Wake the hell up Britain. Please! Please! Please! Before it is too late.
Jonesy

There is no excuse for anyone having to struggle financially, physically or emotionally in todays society. The only reason for it is the greed of the wealthy. Its that simple folks.

There is no reason for austerity beyond greed. Bankers needing us to pay their bonuses – greed.
Shareholders including the prime minister, profiting from arms sales on fabricated unjust wars – greed.
NHS being privatised and sold off to companies owned by family members of politicians – greed.
Made up ferry company being given multi million pound contract – greed.
Private companies corrupted assessment of benefit claimants and costing more than the benefit system – greed.
MP’s getting huge pay rises – greed.
The list goes on and on. There are no other valid reasons and yet we let these corrupt people continue to govern and subdue us.
Power does not corrupt, greed corrupts, and these people in power are greedy beyond words.
So when you see that someone died on the street, someone died waiting for medication or an operation, someone died because they had been sanctioned by the cruel benefit system, people starving to death in Yemen or being blown to bits in Syria, or someone being knifed on a British street because all the support services have been closed due to them no longer being profitable for the shareholder of the private companies or quango’s that were being paid to profiteer from ghettoising human beings in the inner cities, remember the cause is not lack of money it is purely the wealthy skimming it off not only the poor but the reserves of our country, off you and me. And for what? GREED! Thats what!
Wake up Britain. Wake up.

Jonesy Jones

If there is a heaven what will it be like?

Will it be humans with bodies or just gaseous forms, maybe just electricity free flowing?
Will there be folk just from the winning faith or will all whether religious or atheist be there? Does a heaven mean a hell, a limbo and maybe somewhere even worse? Or will even Nazis, Tories and other mass murderers be in heaven too?
Is there a chance of reincarnation? Of returning as a person, an animal or a tree? Coming back to Earth or somewhere else? Maybe we get reborn as our selves or maybe we all share one soul, one existence so the hurt we do to others is truly self harm?
Is god if there is one, alone? Many gods? Male? Female? Both or none?
If there is a ultimate divine being do they realise we exist? Or are we just a form of bacteria? Growing on a discarded cheese toastie?
Do any of these theological questions & suppositions make you hate me? Make you want to kill me? To join with me? To take my words as gospel? To call me evil or good? Do I deserve ostracism? To be turned out of my home? To be shot at on the street? To be given money? To own you? To have power over you?
Would it make a difference if I wore white or Black? A crucifix or star? A pentacost or upturned cross? If I shaved my head or grew a beard?
Maybe in a millenia these words would be seen as holy?
I know my belief and its unlikely that its yours. I do not hate you because you believe in a deity or not. I might dislike or hate you as an individual, we cannot all like everyone, but I don’t hate because of faith, culture or creed. I do hate violence, oppression and death caused by those who perpetrate such vile acts in the name of any god. I will condemn them on all sides, but in particular will raise my voice against the aggressor more so than the defender.
I do not condone war nor terrorism. Especially in the name of a supposed understanding and loving god, prophet or holy ghost.
We were (the folk of my generation) taught that the Christian god was a god of peace and love. It seems that given human history those teachings were wrong. That wars have been fought with both sides claiming the same god was on their side. ‘Gott Mitt Uns’ was on the Nazi Soldiers belt buckle. Every regiment of every army seems to go into battle with chaplains or religious leaders in the ranks. Even those whose political allegiance discounts any formal religion.
Now believe what you believe, feel free to dicuss it with me if we ever meet, but do not ever tell me your religion, your faith or your god tells you to kill, to maim, to oppress, to subjugate, to torture, to imprison, to ostracise, to injure, to fight others because their beliefs are not yours.
I believe in humanity, there lies my hope, and I truly pray I live to see that force take control of this planets destiny.
Jonesy

I presume anyone calling me alarmist for my views has not faced riot police, have not worked in communities where poverty kills, have not seen children living in true squalor not because of ‘bad parents’ but due to a ‘bad’ system. Have not faced knives or guns in our own cities, have not seen corruption of those that supposedly are there to protect us at first hand. These folk have not seen a battered child leaving the cells too scared to make a complaint, have not watched families ripped apart because there is nothing left to offer them support with. Not seen the start of a full blown riot, not seen the black uniformed antagonists attacking the public. Sadly I have!

But thats fine. You get your knowledge and wisdom from TV, newspapers and radio. Therefore you must be right, I am just alarmist and over reacting.

Jonesy.

Lets just be clear the public intent of Derbyshire IAM and DCC bikesafe scheme is at odds with the Derbyshire Police yearly harassment of bikers and proposed use of stingers and drones against motorcyclists.

As soon as any force decides to use stingers against two wheels, which is not acceptable in any circumstance then any argument they have that they are working towards road safety is voided.
They are risking lives not protecting them. Do not be niaive.
The currant stopping of motorcycles in numbers far beyond any other vehicle is for increasing revenue, as bikes are an easy target, and due to the discriminatory attitudes of county councillors and senior police officers.
There are a few similar forces throughout Britain, North Wales is another example of anti bike tactics.
As you all know I fight any discrimination and yes that includes that against motorcyclists.

Do not be sheep and say ‘they are just doing their jobs’ they absolutely are not. Easy money and each traffic offence is recorded as if the force achieved a criminal conviction. They then get increased budgets.
Corruption yet again, victimisation of yet another sector of society.
Jonesy

Ok I fight all hate, always have, it is me, I am so tired of those determined to prevent a fair future crying anti-Semitism or screaming that they – the establishment and their minions are being bullied.

These people are anti-human and are killing folk from all religions, races, and colours, every single day. They really only discriminate against your financial position, your class and whether you of use to them.
If you are poor, vulnerable, ill, or disabled, if you are not their ‘sort’ of person you are fair game to them. They do not see your colour, religion, place of birth or creed as the sole reasons to judge you, they look at your financial position, the pound signs etched upon your soul.
They claim to be followers of some god usually but their only true god is greed. They look to divide us all with their feigned shock, their cries of dismay, their blatant lies and sadly, truly sadly too many times we or those we try to support not only listen, acknowledge but submit to their tactics.
I respect all people for who they are, religion, culture or any other factor used in a discriminatory manner do not influence judgement of people. Behaviour does. Those with no empathy for others, that profiteer through misery and cruelty have only my contempt and ire. The remainder of people my support and respect once earned.
We do not all get on in life, that is a sad fact, but no one should prey upon others for power or financial gain. Its that simple.
If you don’t like me because of my colour, my hair, my dress, my build, my gender, my ability, my sexuality, my beliefs or even the size of my bits, more fool you. If I let you strip me of security, a future, my needs, my health, my food, my future more fool me.
Using my differences or those of others as a weapon against me will not work. Trying to scare me into submission, to silence me by threats of tarring me as a hater will not work. All you do is make me stronger. Make me want to fight you harder.

Seems the police in Grassmoor (tiny village in North East Derbyshire) are thinking of using stingers on motorbikes! The local Labour party are pleased with this!
Let’s be clear using a stinger on any bike or scooter is potentially lethal, even at low speeds. The scooter and nuisance motorcycle issues here are generally kids using them on waste ground and parks (not playground parks, areas designated as public land).
The kids also occasionally ride about on un-insured bikes with no helmets. These are not scooter or bike gangs they are kids/teenagers growing up in rurally deprived areas.
Their parents know what they are up to. The community is too small not to.
Ok stingers are long mats that the police roll out in front of cars to burst tyres and slow them down. They are still risky with cars and usually result in a crash. On a bike they are deadly. If your tyre blows out you are off. With small wheeled vehicles such as peds or scooters it is often potentially fatal to the rider, as it is with bigger bikes.
Now fair enough they are causing a nuisance but these are not gangs mugging folk at knife point they are your sons and daughters on a now very restricted path to adulthood.
If my son (who actually hates bikes so won’t be in this position) was to be killed or injured by the police deploying this weapon that should never be used on a bike I would want more than justice.
And how long til the use one on me for some minor offence. We can never give the police the power to be judge and jury. They need admonishing for even suggesting this. Derbyshire police have always seen bikers or anyone on powered 2 wheel vehicles as the enemy. And as for the CLP supporting and praising this vile abuse of policing power, I am truly disgusted beyond words.
They have lost sight of the needs of kids to grow and develop. If they are a nuisance find a way to occupy their minds not damage their bodies.

The police are also stating they will be using drones against these same kids, ‘drones’! Yet no money to send a copper out to an assault or theft! Its pathetic and lazy policing yet again by Derbyshire Police. A quick fix to a problem that needs investment of time and ideas not paramilitary responses.
Thanks for reading,

Jonesy. A very angry Jonesy.