Supporting words

Chin up, man up, pull yourself together, it will all work out, worse tings happen at see, others worse off – all statements likely made with best intentions by folk that care, but sadly folks that do not understand anything about what is happening to a mental health or chronic illness warrior.
With depression, anxiety or any mental health issue, bereavement or for a survivor of abuse these terms though said with love actually minimise what is happening to the person, and can exasperating their crisis and despair.
Please please think about the language you use when offering kind words, for some truly do not carry the intended support within them.
We all have done it, and always with good intent, but using phrases like ‘am here if you need me’ or ‘my phone always on’ or even ‘my door is open to you’ is what people need to hear.
Crisis often brings isolation and invariable true loneliness. Social interaction may feel impossible. Just knowing folks have not abandoned you, are still your friends, still care can bring you back from the abyss.
Never underestimate how dangerous mental illness is, it kills, but usually the sufferer is the only physical victim, though family and friends are left to live with the consequences.
My family, my friends and most of all my two children are all that keeps me upon this planet. If not for others I would now be gone.
So please give support to folk not a glib response. Let them know you care. Be there for them. Because anyone who has to live with such turmoil needs you, and if they call you friend they likely truly mean it.
Jonesy Jones