Category: Uncategorized

To me one of the most difficult things to accept is that my depression and anxiety are ‘mental health issues’. I spent years fighting the stigma attached to mental health for members of children’s families that I was tasked to assess, support and safeguard.
Yet even now, despite my openness, my self awareness, my telling my story often too openly to all here, in groups and on my blog (www.thejonesy.com), I find it so very hard to tell my self it is just that. I am not alone in having ‘mental health issues’ in fact I am in the best company because so many of the people I love, care about and call friends have them too.
We however live in a society that continues to dehumanise all disabled and vulnerable, but more so those with any form of mental or even invisible illness. It is still in so many circles seemingly ok to mock folk by calling them ‘mental’ or a ‘nutter’. These terms and far worse are used in jest, comedy, but also to derogatory and aggressive effect.
We are not humans but ‘service user’s’ – not even patients anymore.
If we haven’t a case worker it seems we have no voice, if we have a case worker it is their voice that carries weight.
I for one may get lower than I ever have been, I may be scared of opening my front door or going to meet my mates at times, I may hold insulin in my hand and try to think of a reason not to take it all, but given that and all the other quirks and issues within my life I am still a human being. I will never accept being treated otherwise.
People can sit in front of their 50 inch TV and watch the vile shows on channel 5, or believe the BBC / Tory Propaganda, they may make their minds up with no understanding or experience of Mental Health, of Chronic Illness, of continuous pain, but that does not make them right, it does not give them a right to judge me or anyone else.
I despite my health issues am still the person I have always been. I am the same person I was at 16, at 30 or at 45, I now have different experiences, but thats growing older.
I did not lose my value and worth when ill health took my career and role.
I am still Simon, I am still Jonesy, I am still human, I am still me.
If society rejects this, I reject that society. I have always fought for my morality and now I have all day everyday to continue that fight.
So beware bigots, beware greedy swine, beware those in glass houses, for I have walls of brick, clothes of Kevlar and the biggest bag of stones you will ever see.
Unite against discrimination, unite against hate and let’s make things change for the better.
Jonesy.

Kinda speechless. I asked for support in regard to the anxiety and depression I experience due to the physical effects of my combined chronic illnesses. Its took about two months despite a daily battle with suicidal thoughts to get a response to GP’s ‘urgent’ referral.

Today I received the most horribly written letter from a service hub in Derbyshire called SPOA – single point of access. It did not identify the service and I truly believe is designed to discourage anyone taking up a referral.
I rang up and spoke to a completely non human whose name I will not use. She had no empathy, was officious and even callous. She had no interest in talking to me and wanted the name of my ‘case worker’ which considering I am not open to any services nor have been was a a poor assumption upon her part. She demanded my case workers name again despite me not having one and her attitude was beyond vile.
In the end I hung up with no appointment made.
I calmed down and rang back, this time one of my ex colleagues who is now an independent social worker was visiting. I put the phone on loud speaker and they witnessed the attitude of the same worker. In the end I asked for the complaints number and was provided with it without hesitation, in the way I roll off my mobile number.
I ended the call. I then rang the Health Care Trust and Kingsway Hospital in Derby, the receptionist answered the call then started to talk to someone else without any acknowledgement of me, I tried again to say hello and was told to ‘just wait’.
It truly is no wonder folk are in crisis without support. You are dehumanised and treated as if you are a ‘sub-person’ someone that has no value or voice. Now these may be the reception staff but they gatekeep a service that should be caring, compassionate and understanding.
I went from a positive day to the other end of the spectrum. I have been walking around since feeling that as far as society is concerned I am worthless and deserve no recognition as a citizen nor human being. Daft maybe? But thats how it effected me.
Jonesy

He opened his eyes and scanned the landscape around him. As he sought to recognise something, anything, a primeval fear began to engulf his senses. It was not as if something was not right, it was everything!

The sky was a filled with a pink tinge, almost like a sunset but different, the trees and fauna was not like anything he knew of. There were creatures in the air around him, but not birds, no wings, just huge expanded bodies that seemed to float rather than have any control over direction. More akin to puffa fish than any airborne animal.
Their was sounds too, but it was as if you were listening to a radio in a brand new luxury care, clear but at the same time muffled.
One such sound caught his attention, it overwhelmed him, a crying sound. One like no other he had experienced, this sound reached into him and as he looked towards its source he was hit with a realisation that all the books, the doctrines, the religions were true, not one but all, for before him was a being that was an angel, a warrior, a nymph, a cherub, a star, a tree, a rock, it was solid then liquid then a gaseous cloud. It changed through hundreds of forms as it moved towards him. It spoke not as in language, not with sound, but it spoke to him, it named him and recounted his life to him in memories. Its warmed him and he now felt safe.
It was at this point he finally knew he was dead.

So you want to be proud of your British heritage? Reclaim your culture? Which one? The one where the aristocracy and their lapdogs suppressed the people, stripped them of their belongings, taxed them beyond measure, stepped over their bodies which were lying in the gutters of city streets?

The culture of sending children to war, oppressing other countries, making it illegal to speak your own tongue – Wales, Ireland and Scotland, oh and yes Cornwall?
The history where you could be prosecuted for speaking out of turn, and imprisoned for debt?

Or

The Heritage of standing against tyranny, of fighting injustice, of communities and families uniting against oppression, not just that focused on ourselves but on others, our culture of standing up against the odds, of unions, of democracy of gaining our rights and safeguarding them for the future by blood, sweat, tears, loss and yes ultimately death? Of sacrificing sparse comfort to force true and fair change?

Is your heritage a flag? A colour? A religion? Are you to be remembered as oppressed, as sheep, as betrayed or betrayer?

Or

Will you be remembered as fighting for a better present, a fairer country, a kinder world?

Will you be fighting for those who tell you that they are your betters because they hold the wealth?

Or

With your equals, your brothers and sisters that have no pretense, that just want the change we all should desire?

The choice is yours, Servile Serf of Freeman/woman fair human!

Jonesy

We do not all agree on everything, and thats fine, but if you are hell bent on perpetuating this cruel vile regime we live under, for whatever misguided reason, then we part as people based upon a differing morality. This will be insurmountable as I cannot and will not even try to empathise with the view that anything but a free and fair society, a socialist society, a society that supports its populace and does not strip them of choice, rights, opportunity, shelter, food and humanity.

My life has been dedicated from being a 16yr old activist supporting the miners, print workers and several less publicised workers fighting to save their jobs, communities, families and way of life, to working in communities, many in deprived areas, working to support families and protect children from harm or abuse.
I am not some person spouting rhetoric taken from some spin doctors manifesto of corruption, my view, my words are taken from my journey through life, my experiences, and sadly the experiences of those I sought to support and protect.
I have now seen at first hand how this corrupt and cruel government, the previous coalition, as well as Blair’s ‘New Labour’, have stolen the past as with Windrush, the present as with the vile procedures and policy, which the DWP use to condemn the sick, disabled and vulnerable, and even the future, by their selling off off the NHS, the Tory proposed scrapping of our human rights, and the destruction of the countries infrastructure that is the support network for every citizen, regardless of wealth or social class.
We now need to find a way to reverse the effects austerity, the policy of robbing us to pay bankers and shareholders dividends and bonuses, upon the communities of the UK.
I cannot and will not engage within a society that promotes and cheers the need for the existence of foodbanks, that allows officials and officers to steal the meagre belongings of those existing upon our streets and an establishment that continues to profiteer from the vulnerable, as well as everyone else withing this supposed ‘Great’ Britain.
So sadly if you cannot see through the ongoing blatant lies you are fed daily in the media, if your experience is forming your opinions from the Sun and listening, laughing and drinking with bigots, if you spout utter discriminatory crap because you are too lazy to get out and meet folk, have never experienced other cultures beyond a Chinese takeaway, have no understanding of how wonderful diversity and inclusion truly are, then sadly your opinion is not what I am seeking in life.
If you spout hate and follow the pink milkshake wearer its time to move on from me.
It really is that simple. I haven’t the strength to argue semantics with the uninformed. I write as already stated my opinion based upon experience and knowledge, it may not always be your cup of tea, it may seem to be self indulgent to you, but its my ethos, my morality and it is who I am.
So love or hate me, your choice, but try not to see me as a fool, or weak, for I truly am neither.
Hopefully still your friend,
Jonesy

Rarely do I drink, I do not go clubbing nor even the pub, I do not smoke, I shop in charity shops, eat own brand foods, but because I am disabled, society believes it is acceptable to ensure that every third week I have to isolate myself through financial deprivation.

I have good days & bad, on good days I may look well, on bad days I will not be seen. I never ever have a pain free day. I try to live on my ‘good’ days, but society makes me feel guilty for doing so.

I get a letter through the door and my heart seems to become lead. My imagination forms a living nightmare and my mind is full of dread. The envelope says either DWP or Belfast and I feel my future ebb away, a wall builds and I no longer function as a grown up. It may take days for the last shred of me to get the strength and yes stubbornness to open the letter.

If its a form the dread becomes fear, self loathing and anger. I should just fill it in and send it off but i no longer have that ability, I become numb, less than human, the form is now a battle I am scared i cannot win. Its just a form to people that will never need to complete it, but to me it is my nemesis, a step closer to my end, more than any child is lying under the sheets in terror of the monster under the bed I shut down.

I am literate, a grown up, even intelligent, yet a simple request for information kills me a little more.

I ring the DWP, am on hold for an hour and the call is ended without any acknowledgement. I ring again, another hour, even having to take my phone to the loo as my crohn’s continues its mission to clean me out, hoping they answer soon but now my phone dies. Another hour later I finally speak to someone, then as I tell the man on the other end of the phone how I am now suicidal, how I am not coping, the line goes quiet. I think its gone dead, but then his voice returns, not addressing me, but talking to his work colleague, talking about how another work mate has sent a picture around the office. The anger rises, I bared myself, lost even more dignity, became less human and this bastard, a person paid to listen to me was not even interested in my despair, my very real thoughts of killing myself, and worse no one cares.

This is not my story, I do not own it, it is shared by many many more human beings, people that may be your children, parents, friends, brothers, sisters or even sadly you. This is how society reacts to the disabled, the ill, the vulnerable. How we are taught to see those in need, the folk that this Tory government has deliberately dehumanised, made us despise and loathe. The people that the Conservatives see as a drain on our – their resources.

We currently live under a government determined to strip the assets from our country, from us all. This government would rather spend hundred of millions of our pounds stopping people in need from getting their entitlement, the money they need to survive. A government with ministers that will gladly waste tens or even hundreds of millions of pounds on fabricated ferry companies to feed public funds to their mates, but will sit by and watch a human being starve to death, to die looking like a victim of Belson concentration camp.

Today is local elections, EU election, not a General Election but your vote is beyond important, it truly matters, we need to condemn the Conservative Party and its cruel regime to history as we did the memory of Belsen and all the other vile tyrannical regimes of the past.

People will scream at how I compare the Tories to Nazi’s but sadly from the outset ‘Strong and Stable’ Theresa May seems to be intent upon picking and choosing from Hitler’s lessons.

We have a government that dehumanises not just disabled, but folk that have different lifestyles and cultures. A government that allows folk to die on the streets, and sadly councils that fine, imprison and strip the homeless.

A government with MP’s and Councillors that see foodbanks not only as acceptable but a positive way forward. A government stripping us of everything that they can profiteer from.

So please please get out, vote and do not waste your vote.

The Lib Dems allowed the Tories to get in, supported the lie that is austerity, and betrayed a nation.

The New Labour has gone, we now have True Labour. Socialist Labour. A potential for a caring society once more. A society that does not demonise those in need but supports them, that offers not just you but your children a future. Today is the first real chance to begin the fight to claim our country back. Lets take it, grab it with both hands.

So today do the one thing that makes sense, see through the lies you have been told, and today VOTE LABOUR.

Jonesy

http://www.thejonesy.com

#VOTELABOUR
#EndAusterity
#EndCorruption
#EndToryBritain

Folks keep banding around the word ‘rape’ to explain how they feel, but paying tax is not ‘rape’ and although the dwp assessments are cruel, vile and wicked neither are they ‘rape’. Ye it is a word used in bygone days for various meanings, even with a little legendary terminology such as in ‘the vikings “raped” and pillaged’. But the reality is that the word rape is about an act of sexual attack in order to hold power over someone. Its not sexual gratification, not passion, not sexual frustration, it is purely abuse, assault and battery, of the most absolute intimate nature by a powerless person wanting power over someone else. It is akin to all abuse only in someway worse for it strips a person of their self worth, their confidence and makes them feel vulnerable, valueless, objectified, belittled, angry and scared. It destroys some and effects all.
Every kind of abuse is terrible, none is better than another, all steal something of their belief in humanity from the survivor, but so very often victims of abuse feel guilt, many knowing their attacker / perpetrator, they feel shame and we all can sit here rationalising it because we know its not their fault, not their shame, those belong solely to the aggressor, but surviving abuse shakes at best or at worst destroys rationale.
So please folks before saying you have felt as if raped when something negative happens, just have a little think and use a more appropriate term. I can only imagine the feelings of any abuse survivor and hope few of you have experienced it.
Thanks.

Jonesy

Sorry to have to go on about this but cold calling, especially to the ill, elderly, disabled or anyone thats routine is out of sync with societies usual 9-5 rota is not just a nuisance but can cause huge amounts of physical, emotional and yes mental distress, worry or even worse.

These people making the calls likely work on commission and have little thought nor empathy for those they ultimately end up harassing. They may only make one call about a fabricated accident, or old boiler but once one company has a number many more also jump in upon the bandwagon.
If folk have already anxiety and depression, even not answering the calls can push folk over the edge with worry. A unrecognised number can develop its own story in someones mind, as can a withheld one.
I know sometimes working for these companies is a last resort, but its not an acceptable one.
The telephone preference service has no teeth especially for foreign registered companies or scams from outside the UK.
Why is there not proper legislation against such activities? Because sadly many members of the government and their friends and yes family benefit from the companies carrying out such immoral practice.
It is not bloody good enough, but sadly pails from so much other corruption from these vile creatures that currently have such power and control over our lives and future.
So this is yet another marker of my opinion of the vile Tory Government and the neoliberalism supporters before them.
Profiteering before humanity!
Jonesy Jones

There is nothing wrong in being proud of our heritage and culture. Today is St Georges day the patron Saint of Christian England. People rightly want this to be as recognised as St David’s day or St Patrick’s day or that of St Andrew. It is part of our heritage.

Its only xenophobia and racism that we should shame. It angers me that the right wing neo nazis constantly try to steal our identity. All humans need history, whether its right or wrong. The Americans (immigrant Americans not the indigenous folk) prove that. Without cultural identity they either retain their ancestral ones eg the ‘founding fathers’ the Irish, the ‘Italian’ but then shun togetherness and inclusion, or they invent their own using extremist morality and actions. Its a messed up world. We cannot always judge our preceeders by their actions within their time, but we can always judge the greed and cruelty of those lording it over everyone else.
Aristocracy, Barons, Royals, and now the Corporations that make up the worlds establishment.
Jonesy

So is my bike British? Granted its a Suzuki GS engine, the wheels and forks are Suzuki too. But the frame was built in England, it was put together in England, the seat came from China, the leads are British, the Battery Chinese, painted in Britain, the rubber for tyres possibly Indonesia, (I dunno) handle bars British, switch for horn British, the list goes on.

The point being I truly do not know of any modern vehicle where every component is British, Chinese, German or the like. Components are sourced from all over the globe. Yet for some reason calling my chopper which was built in Britain, that due to the builder is actually a piece of British motorcycling history is deemed as wrong, yet a Triumph built in the East is ‘British’.
Its all pedantics I guess, in reality it was built on earth, using earths resources. So its kinda same as me, not completely belonging to any nation, a bit of a mongrel, a thing/being of this planet. Nothing else really matters. Its made of metal and plastics as are all (ok most) bikes, I am made of flesh and blood as are most (ok all) humans!
So is it British? Probably as British as you or me, does it really matter? Nope it is fun, makes me giggle and I love it, kinda like my folk!
Jonesy Jones