As a dad I am condemned by the actions of other men. Does that mean I am guilty of the actions of Hitler, pol pot, Darma or West? Are women all responsible for the guilt of Thatcher or Eva?
I tried to be the best parent I could be, but I was not allowed to be there on too many occasions. My children’s childhood was taken from me by the actions and lies of their mother. The system colluded with her, judges not checking facts and a court protocol heavily stacked against dad’s. And as an ex cafcass worker myself I can assure you it is.
I was not a drug addict. An alcoholic. But even people ill with these issues can still be a valuable parent.
I was and never will be an abuser on any level, yet my ex managed to prevent my contact with the children. I had a contact order (now child arrangement order) but she ignored it. The courts refused to enforce it. I have never had a xmas or birthday with either of my kids since we split up.
Any time I saw/see them it is me that has to puck up and drop off.
I had no say in the important decisions. But I was and always will be their father.
People tell me to write a book, I am doing just that, with the truth of what it is like to be an estranged dad or mum in this country. I will be sued no doubt due to my frankness. I do not care.
Now the government colludes with my ex even further. To the point even if by some miracle my health improved I would never be able to work again.
This country holds absent parents as the wtong doers. I have never wanted to be absent. I have always been there when the kids needed me. Always will be. I have a good relationship with them. Always have despite the vitriol and poison they are continuously fed by their bitter mother.
So all I know in my heart is I have been the best dad their mother and society allowed me to be. Please remember that when you condemn absent parents. I was never absent by choice. I always had my door open and my phone on. I fought to share their lives and when opportunity arose I would and always will drop anything to be with or there for them.
Some men and women do not try to be good parents. Some are bad parents. I know because my career was investigating them and protecting kids from them, but so many “absent parents” are only absent because the other parent ensures it.
So condemn me with your ex, I may or may not share the gender as them, I may wear the same T-shirt as them but I am not them. I am a dad that loves his children more thanife, and is only still on this planet because I am their father.
If you hate absent parents delete me. I am only capable of doing my best.