By Simon Jonesy Jones
Bullies come in all shapes and sizes. There are the standard school bullies, these nasty little creatures depend upon others ‘thinking’ they are hard and tough. In reality most are weak kids that rely upon others to continually back them up and their targets to be in fear of them. Their motives can be so simple, usually they lack social skills to survive on their own, and tend to be from families where either they are unseen, or in fact bullied themselves.
They rarely have empathy for others, but usually will get their comeuppance as they leave school or enter the work place. Often their bullying is actually a cry for help.
Workplace bullies can just be a continuation of school bullies, but also can be those who were bullied at school. These horrid creeps can make life so difficult for people that careers are ruined and even lives. Their bullying often goes ignored by management.
There are bullies within marriage or relationships. This bullying is what may be classed as DV (domestic violence). It as with all bullying can be physical, mental and emotional cruelty towards their partners and/or kids. Sexual assault, abuse and rape can be manifest within DV.
Then there are cyber bullies. These can belittle, threaten and attack folk online. They will pick people up on their grammar, quote theory at them in an attempt to make others look stupid or google (their greatest tool) to spout facts and figures in order to fake intelligence. These bullies too often are nerdy and physically unable to carry out their threats, however they will try to goad folk into responding in anger then report them to the police. These are rife upon social media and are classed as keyboard warriors because they usually hide behind their keyboards sniping to make others look foolish.
This list can go on and on, there are bullies in all walks of life, and they all master their own tactics. People use threats, showing others up, identifying weakness, and physical violence. They may target someone because they see them as the wrong colour, a different culture, having a sexuality or gender that the bully does not understand or feels threatened by, the wrong clothes or even haircut. I was attacked once for being the ‘wrong sort’ and another time for using crutches, and another for being a ‘cripple’! People can be cruel and its usually their own hang ups and inadequacy that is the cause of their horrible behaviour.
I was subject to bullying at school and wanted to die for most of my school life. On the last day I turned on the pupils that were responsible and beat them up. The teachers sadly got away with it.
Bullying is about power. Its mainly vile insects that have no other power in their lives. Those that are adept at putting people down verbally are no cleverer and often have a lower IQ or ability than their targets. Using google doesn’t prove you can rationalise thought processes, it just shows basically you can access a search engine.
Bullying is not good in any circumstance, and is easy to fall into a bullying relationship.
I try never to be a bully. If I ever come across as such please tell me.
Empathy and understanding gains my respect not aggression. There are times I talk a fight but that is self protection because I would rather talk than fight any day of the week, however I will stand up to bullies even if things get physical. Thats what school taught me.
Tonight i was subject to bullying online from someone I thought of as friend. He belittled me openly then continued in messenger. He was a google hero. In real life he has few people skills and often seems panicky in social situations. He joins groups on and off facebook, calls himself a ‘biker’ because he rides, but lacks understanding of what ‘biker’ truly means to us. All the gear no idea springs to mind.
He understands or at least seems to, technology better than I do and used this with glee to call me a liar on my post. He messaged me to say i was part of the ‘tin foil brigade’ and paranoid because after four assaults and no police support I feel unsafe when am physically vulnerable due to health and disability.
He is now blocked and will be treated with contempt if encountered. I will not threaten him nor name him on here.
I think he has emotional and social issues. I hope he gets help before he ends up targeting the wrong person.
I now see bullies as weak and powerless. I feel pity that they have to resort to such putrid tactics to make themselves feel worthy.
Tonight upset me because I was caught unawares. Did not expect it, but hind sight truly is a wonderful way of explaining such surprises.
No one should be subjected to bullying. We as a society have a duty & responsibility to challenge it every time we come across it.
The best way is to support the victims, from offering an ear, shelter, advice or even stepping between if it helps.
Bullies may be crying out for help but their needs are secondary whilst they are targeting others.
Bullies tend not to change, certainly in regard to their targets, and many refuse to recognise that it is how they are behaving.
So if you are being bullied at school, home, work, online or in your neighbourhood, reach out to others, find people you trust and will stand by you. The police and other agencies may help, but people have mixed experiences. The police were useless after i was assaulted, despite recording them as ‘hate crime’, though they are getting better with DV incidents. Listen to friends but do not think things will change just because a bully apologises and pledges to change. That rarely lasts long.
If any of my friends, or anyone wants to talk to me because they are subject to bullying, I am here, don’t expect Batman but I will listen and offer advice and signposting to folk that can help, if I can.
I am sure most of my friends upon here will do the same.
But never feel trapped or alone, there are people you can reach out to and who do care.
So remember don’t accept bullying. Its not OK, and needs stamping out.
All lives matter.
As always if you agree with my views in this post feel free to share.
I have not set out to offend anyone, I want people to realise support is there if they need it. Writing this has been my support for myself.
Thank you for reading