Road safety…pah

Derbyshire is, or rather, was, one of the best counties in Britain for riding a motorcycle or even a bicycle. (Luckily for folk I chose a motored bike as my bum in lycra would require a tanker full of brain bleach, I can promise).

Sadly, due to years of central government cuts to local authorities many have had to prioritise the services they offer the communities. However, Derbyshire as with so many others it seems to me is happy to waste money if it benefits the councillors, ruling party or senior executives but will not invest in ensuring roads are safe.

Now our roads are often in disrepair due to wear and tear, but also to what I fear is the corrupt lapse in common sense when it comes to building upon our beautiful green belt land and the criminal destruction of our open spaces.

I been led to believe that there is more than a little building on protected sites, knocking down buildings that were listed and destroying protected hedgerows all seemingly victims of instantaneous combustion, with often no formal police or fire investigation.

There also is the building of residential houses, new homes for families on horrifically and dangerously contaminated land throughout the county. The building on known flood plains is commonplace.

It seems I am digressing, however the roller coaster of house building has a major impact upon the roads, partly due to more traffic, increase on heavy vehicles using roads not designed for their weight, and the fact that local infrastructure is not designed to cope so all our roads are being dug up (some daily) by utility companies either installing or shoring up existing cables, pipes and sewers.

Now the problem it seems to my dulled mind, is that local councillors are I believe often lied to by council officers and developers. They believe they are helping their communities grow but not aware of the corruption behind it. The housing is also despite promises made and even contractual obligation upon  developers are not affordable to the majority of local residents, which destroys communities or rather what now remains of them.

Taking all this into account, maybe the developers and privately owned utility companies will pay for road repairs and even development …erm likely nope, the only roads they may fund are the avenues their houses sit upon.

What does Derbyshire County Council do to control this? Well they absolve themselves stating that district councils are responsible for planning (most District Councillors are members of the three main parties so not truly independent of county decision making and vice versa). They also ensure the police never record accidents as due to road surface or conditions (making sure there is not even a tick box to record this), they blame accidents on speed and dangerous driving. With little evidence to support this, invest in failed road safety initiatives through the police, concentating police resources on the roads rather than often more serious crimes (measuring number plates and the like).
The latest initiatives are speed reduction, no clear evidence for the need, little or no public cinsultation. And until challenged no real indication the limits have changed.

So for all us Derbyshire residents, let’s be proud of our councils, of their erm profess…unprofessional responses to the risks.
Every day I see central government taking the mickey in regard to our safety, our rights and putting us all at risk through what I can only accept is at best disregard for us, at worse contempt in the face of their greed, but it seems the rot goes far deeper, all the way to our own doorsteps.

How can we allow this to continue?

Tory Economics – why maths is erm….important

If Johnny has 2.4bn in the bank but no maths degree and gets a job in the politics as an MP he will only recieve £84,144 pa.
His family including spouse will however somewhat now have all the info they need to invest their paltry millions into privatisation of public owned assets and public contracts (back door privatisation) and will soon themselves have billions in the bank. One of them may have a maths o’level bought at Eton (I cannot confirm or deny this as fact or fiction), and now they too jump from being millionaitres to billionaires. Johny now retires with a full pension and as he was made Prime Minister he has a lifetime security detail provided and paid for by the state, he has a title granted by the Savillesque Protégé of Mountbatten the second most prolific British paedophile in living memory, King Charles McSpaniel.
Johnny also becomes a silent board member of a string of companies, of mainly British and American Arms dealers and fossil fuel corporations. He will recieve property, cars and holidays by the security services of many unsavoury states.
All this without a Maths qualification.
However you or I can become a Maths PHd holder and end up as a potato peeler at Harry Ramsdens if we are lucky.
This is how British economics truly works.

FIBRO the effects

FIBRO, such a daft innocuous term for fibromyalgia, a rheumatic condition (as defined by OED) that absolutely destroys life.

It does not kill directly as in not a fatal illness, it does, however, strip its victims of all they had taken for granted, including their future.

It imposes chronic pain every single day. You as an observer likely will never actually recognise this because people with fibro become so adept at hiding pain on the better days, not because of some super resilience to it, but because of the shame, the discrimination and overwhelming belief that they have become useless that they direct upon themselves, mirroring your partially hidden view that such people are weak and pathetic.

I mentioned shame, because shame becomes a huge part of living with fibro. You know yourself it’s not fatal but there are all too many days you wish it were. The better days mean that with the aid of pain killers, of losing days and weeks at times you get to function for an hour, a day, a few days maybe as if you were a human being.

On those days you feel embarrassed to look well, to walk without sticks, to not have to use your wheel chair, your scooter, to actually be out of the house not just out of bed. 

We see folk on social media, in the street, at our all too often hospital appointments with what are in many ways worse illnesses such as cancer, MS……the list is as infinite as people , and we feel shame, shame that our little word “fibro” will not in itself be terminal. Its at this point that we are too often overwhelmed with guilt at seeing ourselves as disabled.

Then a bad day hits. On these days the pain goes from a constant ache rating of 6 on a scale of one to ten, up to beyond double figures. It’s still an ache but one that overwhelms all your senses as one. It’s like having the worst headache and toothache all over your body.

On these days you can’t move your body to get comfortable, because you truly have no energy to move. Everything, every little bit of strength you had, is now expended by your body trying to find a way to numb the pain. When you try to move, your ache becomes a sharp pain.

Limbs become heavy and useless, even more than they usually are due to loss if muscle density, your thoughts become jumbled and when there is any clarity beyond the fog it is either used up wishing for a way to end the pain, or a realisation that these experiences are likely with you for life.

If you are lucky enough not to live alone, you still try to hide just how bad the pain is because you feel a pathetic burden to those who care for you. Only hiding this is kinda impossible because you struggle even to make the bathroom, so now it’s back to feeling pathetic.

When you are on your own, at least you get to cry.

The thing about fibro is that it likely is due to your body or mind living through some form of fairly severe trauma.

Fibro rarely lives alone in your body. For me, it resides with Crohns Disease, Diabetes, Angina, Diabetic Neuropathy, COPD, Asthma, High Blood Pressure, SVT, PTSD, and sadly along with these it has enabled and promoted Depression and Anxiety.

As I said, Fibro doesn’t kill directly. It does, however, make you wish you were dead. In my body, some of my illnesses may end my existence as part of their hold within my flesh. The most likely killers for me are Crohns, Diabetes (killed my kid brother), and the Depression (possibly the biggest killer of all).

If you are living with Fibro on your own, a flare up can mean you cannot eat, can’t get out, cannot shop, cannot cook, cannot toilet yourself and cannot think (so even online shops are not going to happen).

I have not written this to scare folk, not to appease my own guilt I feel for suffering with fibro, nor the guilt I carry for not believing how bad it could be before I ended up with it.

I have written this because even now, there are people,including doctors and nurses, sadly that do not believe the Fibromyalgia is real. They look at the evidence, listen to the patients living with it and still say its made up.

Well I can promise you all it isn’t.

I get as frustrated as hell at the all too prevalent medieval views of some folk. If you can’t see it, it’s either all in the mind or not real.

Fibro is not all in the mind, on our better days we too may choose to think it is not that bad,but then it hits again, and we are reminded that this ‘condition’ controls our lives, that we cannot plan beyond a day (sometimes hour), that we are unable to keep appointments, cannot book holidays or even a show without the realisation we are unlikely to make it.

So when you are told by someone that they have fibromyalgia, or any chronic illness, do not see them as a victim, they are not, they are bloody fighters in a war I hope you never ever get to experience or fight.


War the end

All out (or any) war is not a football match. There are no winners and just losers. We all lose, even our planet.

There will be no one left to gloat, not even the fools in bunkers

A nuclear war will mean this planet will no longer support life. Its atmosphere will be poisoned, air unbreathable. There will be no ozone and even the sunlight if there is any that gets through the dust clouds will sear flesh.

There is more than a chance that several weapons of high yield exploding in proximity would either split our planet , effectively killing all life immediately or pushing the planet out of orbit meaning that there would be an immediate loss or gain of gravity, a loss of atmosphere and the planet effectively moving away or toward the sun. There are no shelters that can save a life from this.

Elon Musk seems to believe living on Mars may save him and his cronies but sadly for him that too would be unlikely in this even, as a change of earth’s rotation would almost certainly have a compound effect upon the other planets within our solar system

So what’s the point of war?
Well usually it is profiteering from weapon sales and bolstering a failing political position by rallying the jingoistic of a country behind inept leaders and tainted flags.

The point of World War in a conventional manner has the added benefit for the elite of culling the poor, thinning out the masses and again profiteering from the rebuilding and the increase in weapons sales that are due to the fear of further war in the minds of those who have already experienced it.

World nuclear war?
There will be an end to everything. No Mad Max post apocalyptic future, as there would be no future for life, nevermind humans. It truly is that simple. 

Remember a single missile now can be the equivalent of many hiroshimas!

The next time nuclear reaction within weapons is used in war, there truly will be no more war, there will be no more us.

So wave your little flags, cheer on your favourite regimes, there will be no cup ceremony. There will be nothing.

Rock bottom.

Trigger warning.

I have just been asked by GP to describe what rock bottom feels like.

Well right now it is wanting to not be here. Not going to do anything to make it happen but wish could stop breathing. Would truly just love not to exist.

My eyes are sore from welling up, my angina is constant, my one wish would be to have never been in this reality.

I have bizarrely right now no anxiety, because if death made an appearance I would happily look him in the sockets and talk about whatever he wanted to, as we walked into eternity.
All I have within me is pain that sends its signals across the empty void within me.

What has caused this?
Memories of holding my kid brother moments after he died,feeling the warmth of his greying skin  and the sweat brought on by the resus staffs vain attempts to bring him back. Knowing I would never again hold him, that blonde haired kid I changed nappies for, I called my freddy.

From the constant pains of chronic illness, the embarrassment of crohns, the constant stress upon my body from blood sugars ranging from 2.8mml to 38mml. The shortness of breath from COPD AND asthma. The exhaustion and constant pain of fibro, the fear through anxiety, the loss of hope depression brings on but exacerbated by the realisation that I will never be the man I wanted to be, never achieve my goals, never be anything other than this shade I now am. The sudden triggers of PTSD.

From the frustration empathy brings, and the bombardment of hatred thrust into my face from people who assume to call me brother.

Most of all the cause of this hope I hold of never having to awake again is by the realisation that to my sister,my parents and worse my son and daughter all I have truly been is a weak feeble joke, an excuse of a human, a failiure as a brother, a son and a father.

As I said I am not going to take my life for I have no motivation for even that. I just scream within in the hope the void finds me soon

That’s my rock bottom.

I was then asked what I thought would make things better or help. Medication, counselling, the crisis team?

In truth……nothing

Dead like me!

David Cameron was poster boy for the parasitic establishment.
Theresa May was their attempt to lose power and blame the opposition.
Boris Johnson was their desperation to have a whipping boy to blame for all the turmoil Cameron and May caused.
Now Truss is their desperate attempt to discredit the entire Tory government and install their next poster boy for the Establishment – Starmer, pretending the Labour Party actually was a separate entity still from the Conservatives, in a last ditch effort to make people believe we have democracy and not just an installed faux government that pretends to represent the actual people.
All hail our masters, the new world aristocracy, the failing celebrity of monarchy and the true owners of international business.
There is no longer a country flag to doff to, just corporate logos and the headers of the stock exchange.
We are now not citizens, we are to them eaters and a true waste of their worlds resources. No longer needed or wanted.



Sleep deprived

Here I lay in the dark with all so tightly closed eyes, yet inward I see such angry storm filled skies.

Gazing upon a raging purple sea, mountainous waves towering above the frail shadow of a marooned cast aside me.

The surging swirling currents dragging pulling deep down below, into the most hostile place I must go.

Balance or demon I can truly no longer decide, searching in the diminished light I long to again hide

In a transcendental turmoil my my mind continues to dwell, some truth in this version of a yet unseen hell

No armour to protect the feeble creature now present, all my undeclared sins being outed, I must repent

Wishing I held a host of weapons by my side, feeling sorrow that the child I once was had yet again died

Rams head decaying upon a gilded human frame, urging my past digressions to publicly goad me and defame

Longing soon this foul torment must finally end, tonight is the same, not even a divergent despair to descend

Asleep or awake the nightmare still haunts, all my pain and loss engulfs a mind with screaming taunts

Childhood innocence gave me some hope, but losing loved ones, role, ability, reason, makes it difficult to cope

Another futile sleepless night draws to conclusion, a wasted day to follow without any human inclusion

Wanting the man I once was to again reappear, but knowing deep down the cost of hope is too dear.

British Gas and poverty

I have just sent this to Maathew Bateman, managing Director of British Gas :

Dear Matthew Bateman

I am writing to you as a registered independent social worker specialist in child protection.
I wish to inform you that the current pricing policies of British Gas along with the other energy suppliers within the UK are I believe knowingly putting families and therefore children into poverty.

By doing this you are deliberately placing children at significant risk of harm, chiefly but not solely in regard to issues relating to neglect and emotional harm.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs identifies that people – children have basic needs that must be met. The basic needs include food, water, clothing and shelter. Heating is included in shelter, as is lighting.

The pricing for poorer families is not sustainable and means that many families using prepay meters are now being cut off from gas and electric as they cannot afford to pay your prices and feed their children.

Today i have spoken to a mother who has been starving herself to feed her kids for over a week and put £15 on her meter yesterday to have no fuel left today. She is a British Gas customer with 4 children.

She works part time and has to rely on tax credits as a top up.

Maslow also identifies needs of safety that includes financial safety. This is removed in a large part from poorer families and individuals (a person can live alone at 16 but be recognised as a child until 21 or even older under UK legislation) due to your pricing.

I could go on listing all of the basic and higher needs of children being detrimentally effected by the current energy crisis and the part you are playing within it.

I understand you have a duty to your shareholders to make as much profit as possible, however you have a legal and moral duty of care to every child, disabled and yes abled person within the UK.
I suggest you are failing with this.

I therefore plead with you to take immediate action to ensure families are lifted from the poverty caused by the pricing policy of British Gas, and hope other companies will follow suit.

Simon Jones
Social Worker