Sleep deprived

Here I lay in the dark with all so tightly closed eyes, yet inward I see such angry storm filled skies.

Gazing upon a raging purple sea, mountainous waves towering above the frail shadow of a marooned cast aside me.

The surging swirling currents dragging pulling deep down below, into the most hostile place I must go.

Balance or demon I can truly no longer decide, searching in the diminished light I long to again hide

In a transcendental turmoil my my mind continues to dwell, some truth in this version of a yet unseen hell

No armour to protect the feeble creature now present, all my undeclared sins being outed, I must repent

Wishing I held a host of weapons by my side, feeling sorrow that the child I once was had yet again died

Rams head decaying upon a gilded human frame, urging my past digressions to publicly goad me and defame

Longing soon this foul torment must finally end, tonight is the same, not even a divergent despair to descend

Asleep or awake the nightmare still haunts, all my pain and loss engulfs a mind with screaming taunts

Childhood innocence gave me some hope, but losing loved ones, role, ability, reason, makes it difficult to cope

Another futile sleepless night draws to conclusion, a wasted day to follow without any human inclusion

Wanting the man I once was to again reappear, but knowing deep down the cost of hope is too dear.

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Jonesy, just a human.

It's 8yrs since I started this blog. now in 2026 I am 59, and already medically retired due to chronic ill health. This site sets out my frustrations of how I see our country and world, and how I truly believe it needs to change. I now absolutely believe democracy is either broken or a cruel hoax that was designed to keep society in its place, undrt the rule of what now we call The Establishment. Iam still at time of writing this a SWE Registered Social Worker. I am unable to work but use my experience to aid and assist others pro bono. In Lockdown I set up Vunteer Riders UK, we sourced, manufactured, delivered PPE throughout the pandemic, in excess of WHO standards, we got over 10,000,000 (10 million) pieces and sets out completely free of charge. Not a single penny changed hands. So when I see the corruption in The House of Commons and The House of Lords in regard to the Pandemic, I feel infuriated.

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