Depression, Hell’s control

We don’t control depression, it controls us. No one awakes and things ‘today I will be glum’, at least I don’t. Every night I go to bed, hope I can sleep and pray to the universe that tomorrow will be blue skies and no grey mist, no grey stone wall stretching to the sky, no angst at feeling isolated, no fear of answering the door. I wish with all my heart that tomorrow brings a day of getting dressed, leaving my cell (bungalow) and living just a little.

I can lay here in my bed and describe how my depression and anxiety effects me, but yours may well be different, and if you are really lucky you may never have to experience it.

Depression is not feeling sad, its not just feeling a bit down, yes you often feel sad without knowing why, even crying at a pain that is bore from apathetic frustration (yes I realise that a contradiction, but so is depression).

The knowledge that the despair you really feel is often completely invisible to others. The fear that only you realise how close you constantly are to finding a permanent way out. For me only parenthood has prevented this option, thus far.

The acceptance that in reality your life, existence seems to count for little. The tears welling up when all you want to do is appear strong and ‘normal’ (if there is such a thing) to others.

Even a critical look or comment being enough to allow panic to overwhelm you.

Your vision becoming a mask of sepia, a landscape of morbid grey, brown and nicotine yellow. Dark shadows coming to represent the people around you.

My depression halts me, it is a wall that prevents any thought of escape. Any path to a brighter future seems blocked with impenetrable bracken.

Effort is insurmountable. Apathy takes over all, and movement becomes an effort. The outside world fails to exist.

Then i tread water, desperate to seek a method to escape but knowing I cannot, will not make the effort. Time stops, becomes as irrelevant as I now feel.

If I can be bothered to focus my eyes, then all I see is a clutter I have no desire to engage with.

I drown.

I may sooner or later awake from the limbo, but even when things seem brighter I am still aware, still know some catalyst or other can at any moment sweep the greenery and light away, for me to hurtle back into that canyon. Not of horror, for horror takes emotion, of nothingness, of no joy, no happiness, no hope, just loneliness and despondency.

This is a description of my depressive hell, but I am sure there are others, and that for some they are far worse.

I do escape mine regularly. Others don’t come back to tell of theirs

Jonesy.

14 million in poverty

14 million in poverty in the UK according to the Metro (right wing rag) so likely far more. That is roughly a quarter of our population who have to sacrifice all choice just to eat, keep warm and have a roof. Many not even achieving these basic needs.
We see folks living on the streets but it is also as bad for many people that cannot pay their bills, are in debt to loan sharks (all doorstep and payday loan companies are these), with the courts supporting the corruption of these businesses.
If you have never been scared to look out the window, answer the phone, read your mail, never jumped with fear at a knock at the door, had to go without food so your child or children can have a meal every day, then likely you will not understand.
If you have never had to refuse to pop to a friends for coffee because you cannot afford to buy milk if they decide to pop in to see you, how can you get the real meaning of poverty.
When retro is not a trend but is pulling basic soiled furniture out of wet skips just so you can sit down in your privately rented slum.
Where the government changing the benefits system, or an over zealous council workers actions suspend your benefits and put you in a position where your dodgy landlord gets people round to threaten or yes even harm you, then you have to go to ‘Greenwoods’ or the like and beg their agent to lend you enough to pay him/her off, with a huge commission.
If you have never set foot in a food bank you are indeed lucky they leave you with no self respect, not because of the attitudes of the often lovely volunteers, but because of your own belief and values, taught you from an early age by a morally corrupt capitalist society.
Ah but its ‘austerity’. We all need to sacrifice don’t we? Well we seem to have to, but what of the bankers, those who’s gambling put us in this apparent mess? The share holders of the banks, you know, the ones we had to ‘bail out’, the reason for austerity? The multi national companies that avoid tax and are ignored by HMRC? The government department that fines you if you are late with a return or stops your tax credits because each week you have to work more or less hours on your zero hours contract?
Poverty is not a choice for those suffering and living with it. Poverty is a choice for government, for the establishment. 14 million living in poverty is not acceptable in this world, a world where if the top one percent shared their wealth no one would live in poverty and there would be no deaths due to starvation and famine.
Capitalism is not a good system. It is based on greed and corruption. It means there will always be families and individuals that suffer and die through abject poverty. It means that only the truly materialistic wealthy can live without fear of destitution.
Even if you have never experienced poverty, most of you are only at most a months pay from it. The safety net you believe is there for you, in the event of you losing your job will be pulled away once you need it. Universal credit means you get no money for around ten weeks in practice, then your claim can be suspended for no good reason. That is today’s reality. So many may not experience the reality of not heating your home as temperatures drop. Of not being able to afford that kebab after a night out with your mates, of not being able to go out at all because you cannot afford a half.
Some may believe you lived like that as a student so understand. Sadly unlike student life, it is the only future 14 million can see.
And given all that remember such hopelessness also brings on illness, physical through malnutrition and poor diet, lack of exercise due to feeling imprisoned in your home, low immunity again through diet, but also mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, paranoia and worse.
When you live in poverty you become a prisoner in so many ways. You lose your self worth and feel you are only a drain upon society, that in turn feeds guilt, which builds to in way too many instances a belief you are valueless and do not deserve to live. I wish this was overstating things but sadly it is not. People die in many ways through poverty. Those that do not, often only exist. Very few live. Money is not everything? No, but the lack of it kills!
So next time you watch the royals dressing up for some pompous wedding and go aaaahhh at her dress, think on how many are suffering so these people can live in such opulence. Next time you smile at some heartless quip by the vile Lord saccharin remember the families he oppresses and keeps living in squalor. Remember he laughs at you every time he fails to pay his dues to our country.
14 million in poverty is not just a number, its lives, its kids going without basic needs, its people crying throughout the night because they see no way out, its overdoses! Bullying, hangings, cutting, its despair, its hardship its……..unforgivable, cruel and vile.
That is 14 million in poverty and that is just here in the UK. In many places fare worse.
Think on it.
Jonesy (thejonesy)
Dog of Socialism.
#Poverty #despair

Anti-

I am not Jewish I admit, I am not Christian or Muslim or Hindu. I identify with no religion. I am a socialist and a human being. I do not know the religious belief or heritage of any of my friends or comrades unless they choose to tell me. I have been an anti fascist and anti racist my entire life and my views and actions were and are informed by many historical atrocities, but by far the horror those of the Jewish faith and culture, that had to endure the horrors of National Socialist Europe.
I have been a Labour supporter and member since being 13 in 1980. I had various reasons for joining Labour including wanting a fairer Britain and world but also because the Party stands against discrimination.
In my time supporting Labour I have listened to members telling racist jokes, which I absolutely challenged, hold racist or fascist views that again I challenge, some focusing upon colour, gender, sexuality, race, belief and ability, and yes some of that has been focused upon Jews, but also on Muslim’s, Indians, Africans, Germans, French, Sikhs, Catholics, Disabled, Irish, Italian, Welsh, Scottish, and even just folk that are poor. None of this is acceptable in any way. Humour is not an excuse for discrimination, especially when we as a party have and continue to strive towards a hate free society of fairness and equality.
Equally I cannot stand by and watch idly any country or state oppress, murder, maim, injure and discriminate against others because of expansionism and imperialist land grabbing. I will not let any country or state do this for racist, fascist, or even historical feuding reasons and stand silent for the fear of myself being branded fascist or racist due to the main culture and religion of that state previously being subjected to and being made to endure horrors themselves. The saying ‘two wrongs don’t make a right’ is so true.
Using the plight of their forebears to defend their own martial and horrific actions is not acceptable or moral. A valid criticism of Israel is not antisemitic nor anti Jewish. It is not racist nor fascist, it is standing up against genocide, murder and occupation. If and when any country invades, attacks, shoots, bombs and kills human beings because they want their land, disagree with their culture and/or faith, for profiteering, mineral deposits, strategic position, or any other reason bar humanitarian (and then only if backed by the majority of the global international community for moral and ethical reasoning), I will stand against them. I will voice my views, and if I am threatened and called for doing so then so be it.
I will not ever remain silent against wrong doing and persecution. I am not racist. I am not antisemitic. I do not see the Jewish faith and its followers as my foes. I am a human being and treat other humans with compassion and respect until they prove themselves undeserving.
I will always fight oppression, whoever the oppressors may be. Being previously persecuted is no excuse to persecute others.
If a member of Labour or indeed any British citizen attacks you, calls you or insults you because of race or religion, or indeed for any form of discrimination, report it to the Party and Police. I and many others would always support this response. If I see it of you or anyone it is how I would respond. No one should feel oppressed for any reason. This is why I am fighting and striving for a better world.
I am a human. I am humane. I am socialist. I am Labour.
Jonesy Jones

Hospital for sale

For sale
The Royal Hospital Chesterfield. £1. Then all us patients will pay you for treatment. You only need to employ staff on zero hour contracts and minimum wage. When you have earned enough then we will buy it back from you for a few billion then we can sell it back to you for another quid. See a no brainer. #privatisation really works for the rich and corrupt.
#saveourNHS

Murder by association

Every bomb we drop, every missile we supply, every bullet we sell not only damn us but gives birth to new foes. And for why do we do it? Humanity? Defence? Morality? Because its right? No we supply, train, arm and attack for greed, power and corruption. Its that simple. We are murderers by association, collusion and beneficiary. Can you live with that?
Every man, woman and child, maimed, wounded or killed by our arms, our finance or our political masters leaves blood on our hands. They are our responsibility. We all try to live as ‘good people’ but ignorance will never cleanse us from this.
Sadly though we seem ineffectual at stopping our government and their masters from killing our own friends, families and selves so what hope do we have in stopping our association and collusion with genocide abroad!
Jonesy Jones

The Judas Path in politics

I would just like to point out to any Labour MP considering leaving the Party Whip on the A-S bandwagon, following in the malicious path of Frank Fields, a Labour MP who in my opinion is only such in name only given his propensity for voting with the Conservatives, you need to not only consider your political future, the needs of your constituents and your duty towards them, but also how history will remember you.
You shall be forever infamous, you will share a reputation of a betrayer, sabotaging the party and I am sure our country and our children. You will be seen to have sacrificed morality and ethics, and for why? The continuation of corruptive practices in politics? For an extended ride on the gravy train that provides expenses and perks beyond what should be deemed reasonable? For the promise of blood money from the Establishment and foreign state’s governments/powers?
You certainly will not be remembered fondly for your role in perpetuating the cruelty, corruption, oppression and murder that the British Capitalist State is focusing upon its own people, your constituents. You will be vilified for your support of a rogue state that hides behind the genocide inflicted upon people of its main religion by National Socialist (NAZI fascist state not a socialist state) Germany in the 1930’s and 40’s in order to now commit its own crimes against humanity focused upon the Palestinian Peoples.
You will be ever known as career politicians that hid within a party that was born to stand for the rights of the people, yet you used deceit and subterfuge to assist others to erode and steal those rights.
Yes you will be remembered, but remembered in the same way Quisling was, with morality of Vichy.
Is that why you got into politics, to sabotage the ethos of fairness and equality, to support a corrupt and wicked regime, to destroy a party that stand for what is right?
Ask yourselves was a Judas purse worth the cost to our society?

Jonesy Jones

Unions our rights

If you are in a union, do you know how they originated, with blood, hardship and lives given, taken and lost? Do you realise that they were the foundation of the Labour Party and that their struggle and yes war to bring you rights that many feel able to allow the government to strip from us was the birth of socialism?

Think about it!
Jonesy Jones

Labour and my view

First of all, I do not know the religious persuasion of my friends, unless they decide to tell me. It is not important to me in choosing my friends. I can not identify the religion of people in public unless they choose to wear identifiable religious dress such as dog collar, burka, turban, kippah, habit, kasaya, or any other that denotes their faith.
When I meet someone for the first time or at any time I do not ask their beliefs, unless it is part of a wider conversation, and am not offended by their following any faith or indeed no faith.
I do not want a genealogical history of anyone, and do not judge based on skin colour, features, ability, diet, culture or dress.
To me and to be honest the majority of people I associate with, a person is a person. Any decisions I make in regard to them are through their personality, social presentation, and my interaction with them. If we get on then we can call each other friend, if we don’t then we may be acquaintance, and rarely if their is reason then maybe even foe, but that truly is rare. There are folk I like and have common interest or values, their are those I like though we share little mutual commonality.
This is how I live my life. I actively challenge all discrimination, I hope I always have and know I always will.
I am a member of the Labour Party for the Party, its leader and the vast majority of the membership seem to me to share my morality and views.
I will not claim to have never met a racist party member, but I could count on one hand those I have come across in 35yrs, and can categorically state I have not met face to face any that have voiced antisemitic views.
I have seen odd comments on facebook that I can see come across as antisemitic, but these are not stand alone comments, are always linked to the horrors of Palestine and if they cross the line of criticising the perpetrators of terror, torture, oppression and genocide of the Palestinian people, I absolutely challenge them and if appropriate I would report to the appropriate authorities and Labour Party.
Often peoples lack of language skills, or inability to recognise the difference between governments, groups and individuals, and the actions of each, may lead to misinformed comment or statement.
People in all walks of life share memes or quotes sometimes with no true understanding of the source or meaning. Yes this needs picking up on.
I however state unequivocally that my understanding is that yes there may be racist members of the Labour Party, but given his past life record Jeremy Corbyn is not one of these. That he has proved time and time again to stand against oppression and hate, and in many ways share my morality, ethics and views. That he challenges racism and I include antisemitism in that definition.
I am concerned that there are people within religious groups of most faiths that are scared of a possible world leader that cannot be bought, that values honest, fairness and peace. That will take on corporations and even the establishment to provide a fairer society that benefits the majority rather than an elitist wealthy minority.
I believe these people will use whatever immoral lies, spin, fabricated allegations and propaganda to discredit him and those who stand with him.
I believe there are a number of foreign governments that are using underhand tactics to prevent his being elected, and yes members of his own party, in particular the right wing of the Labour Party that are sabotaging his leadership from within.
These unprincipled people are being supported by a press and media owned by those who are frightened by his strength and purpose, and who are desperate to depose him.
I am not alone in my views, the Labour Party now boasts 800,000 full members. Associated membership through union membership increases the figures further.
We on the whole I believe are members because we believe in socialism, in fairness, equality and yes stand against all forms of discrimination.
So when you read a slur story, or hear a defamatory comment please look who is making it, think of what they may lose if we have a country that uphold socialist values, or what they may gain by attacking Jeremy Corbyn or the members of the Labour Party.
It really is all I can ask of you, but then hopefully you will see past the bile and realise those currently pulling the strings of our lives are vile venom filled greedy corrupt haters that will do anything to protect their own power and wealth at our cost.
Thank you for reading this, please feel free to share in any medium, but keep my name upon it.
Another human.
Jonesy

Propaganda by proxy

I know that words are mightier than the sword but to trawl through years of speeches in an attempt to find a single misuse of one to defend the perpetrators of genocide, murder and war is going a tad far. Bullets shot into innocent Palestinians, bombs dropped on Yemeni children, strafing civilians in Syria are far worse crimes, and ones our so called leaders are all too complicit in.
We have no free press, just the paid puppets of corporations, rogue states and our own lovely Establishment.
So when you get angry about the way someone is criticising ‘Zionists’ or has allegedly ‘made’ someone feel ‘unwelcome’ think about those poor folk killed, maimed and living in fear each day at the bidding of those paying to feed you their propaganda.
Jonesy

By the way this is not spam or hate. This is free speech.