Worthless human

Kinda speechless. I asked for support in regard to the anxiety and depression I experience due to the physical effects of my combined chronic illnesses. Its took about two months despite a daily battle with suicidal thoughts to get a response to GP’s ‘urgent’ referral.

Today I received the most horribly written letter from a service hub in Derbyshire called SPOA – single point of access. It did not identify the service and I truly believe is designed to discourage anyone taking up a referral.
I rang up and spoke to a completely non human whose name I will not use. She had no empathy, was officious and even callous. She had no interest in talking to me and wanted the name of my ‘case worker’ which considering I am not open to any services nor have been was a a poor assumption upon her part. She demanded my case workers name again despite me not having one and her attitude was beyond vile.
In the end I hung up with no appointment made.
I calmed down and rang back, this time one of my ex colleagues who is now an independent social worker was visiting. I put the phone on loud speaker and they witnessed the attitude of the same worker. In the end I asked for the complaints number and was provided with it without hesitation, in the way I roll off my mobile number.
I ended the call. I then rang the Health Care Trust and Kingsway Hospital in Derby, the receptionist answered the call then started to talk to someone else without any acknowledgement of me, I tried again to say hello and was told to ‘just wait’.
It truly is no wonder folk are in crisis without support. You are dehumanised and treated as if you are a ‘sub-person’ someone that has no value or voice. Now these may be the reception staff but they gatekeep a service that should be caring, compassionate and understanding.
I went from a positive day to the other end of the spectrum. I have been walking around since feeling that as far as society is concerned I am worthless and deserve no recognition as a citizen nor human being. Daft maybe? But thats how it effected me.
Jonesy