Month: Nov 2022

War the end

All out (or any) war is not a football match. There are no winners and just losers. We all lose, even our planet.

There will be no one left to gloat, not even the fools in bunkers

A nuclear war will mean this planet will no longer support life. Its atmosphere will be poisoned, air unbreathable. There will be no ozone and even the sunlight if there is any that gets through the dust clouds will sear flesh.

There is more than a chance that several weapons of high yield exploding in proximity would either split our planet , effectively killing all life immediately or pushing the planet out of orbit meaning that there would be an immediate loss or gain of gravity, a loss of atmosphere and the planet effectively moving away or toward the sun. There are no shelters that can save a life from this.

Elon Musk seems to believe living on Mars may save him and his cronies but sadly for him that too would be unlikely in this even, as a change of earth’s rotation would almost certainly have a compound effect upon the other planets within our solar system

So what’s the point of war?
Well usually it is profiteering from weapon sales and bolstering a failing political position by rallying the jingoistic of a country behind inept leaders and tainted flags.

The point of World War in a conventional manner has the added benefit for the elite of culling the poor, thinning out the masses and again profiteering from the rebuilding and the increase in weapons sales that are due to the fear of further war in the minds of those who have already experienced it.

World nuclear war?
There will be an end to everything. No Mad Max post apocalyptic future, as there would be no future for life, nevermind humans. It truly is that simple. 

Remember a single missile now can be the equivalent of many hiroshimas!

The next time nuclear reaction within weapons is used in war, there truly will be no more war, there will be no more us.

So wave your little flags, cheer on your favourite regimes, there will be no cup ceremony. There will be nothing.
Jonesy

Rock bottom.

Trigger warning.

I have just been asked by GP to describe what rock bottom feels like.

Well right now it is wanting to not be here. Not going to do anything to make it happen but wish could stop breathing. Would truly just love not to exist.

My eyes are sore from welling up, my angina is constant, my one wish would be to have never been in this reality.

I have bizarrely right now no anxiety, because if death made an appearance I would happily look him in the sockets and talk about whatever he wanted to, as we walked into eternity.
All I have within me is pain that sends its signals across the empty void within me.

What has caused this?
Memories of holding my kid brother moments after he died,feeling the warmth of his greying skin  and the sweat brought on by the resus staffs vain attempts to bring him back. Knowing I would never again hold him, that blonde haired kid I changed nappies for, I called my freddy.

From the constant pains of chronic illness, the embarrassment of crohns, the constant stress upon my body from blood sugars ranging from 2.8mml to 38mml. The shortness of breath from COPD AND asthma. The exhaustion and constant pain of fibro, the fear through anxiety, the loss of hope depression brings on but exacerbated by the realisation that I will never be the man I wanted to be, never achieve my goals, never be anything other than this shade I now am. The sudden triggers of PTSD.

From the frustration empathy brings, and the bombardment of hatred thrust into my face from people who assume to call me brother.

Most of all the cause of this hope I hold of never having to awake again is by the realisation that to my sister,my parents and worse my son and daughter all I have truly been is a weak feeble joke, an excuse of a human, a failiure as a brother, a son and a father.

As I said I am not going to take my life for I have no motivation for even that. I just scream within in the hope the void finds me soon

That’s my rock bottom.

I was then asked what I thought would make things better or help. Medication, counselling, the crisis team?

In truth……nothing