I accept I as a person have a few issues.
I am physically knackered still, I have PTSD, Depression and Anxiety, so there are people that will see me as “mentally ill”, some even just “mental”, whatever that truly means.
My mental health issues stem from several different facets of my life, from childhood, school, work, and sadly loss.
I am very aware of the causes and effects. I can rationalise all the feelings and emotions, I can recognise my triggers, at times I can work through, other times things become overwhelming, and the ultimate question arises, causing me to internally argue my case for being here.
If you haven’t been there I promise you won’t truly understand. It’s not something you can take apart without being able to reference personal experiences.
The main cause of problems for me right now is my inability to ignore injustice, discrimination, unfairness and worse official or professional failings and ineptitude.
Because my mobility is currently limited, and I spend way too much time thinking, it can get very difficult.
Last weekend I ended up back in hospital. The medication I was given was beyond unpleasant. I won’t go into details but it was an experience I truly wish I had been able to avoid. This experience was extremely scary and place me exactly where my PTSD triggers, and in a potentially fatal situation. I was in Resus for several hours.
The thing is, it had been avoidable, but sadly one of the doctors, at my GP practice, misread a communication/message from a specialist community nurse practitioner.
Today I had a discussion with the practice manager, who sadly in my considered opinion, despite her position of responsibility, has few, if any skills needed relating to her role.
All I wanted was her to investigate what went wrong in the practice for me, and to put strategies in place, to prevent it happening to any of their patients in the future.
I explained I could evidence my concerns through the NHS app, and the information shared by the GP practice, through that at this point I could access all the messages relevant to my care
However the practice manager decided the most appropriate way to deal with this was to blame me, and the specialist nurse practitioner.
She refused to take on any responsibility nor offer any reasonable or even unreasonable resolution.
At the end of the call I again went onto the NHS app only to find that all the previous information had gone. After checking with a few sources including the NHS, it became clear a GP can choose exactly what they share through the app. The practice manager it seems took a decision, during my call to change my settings, I believe deliberately covering up the failings of the GP and practice.
This has now meant I have had to request under information governance, all the information that the practice holds upon me.
I understand the administrative work that will go into this. This could have been easily avoided, I would have been happy to resolve this today, but her actions have to me brought about even more serious concerns.
I am capable of checking and challenging, but even then I may miss decisions being made in regard to my care, some folks however may not have the capacity to check for themselves.
GP mistakes can cost lives. I know this all too well, as some are aware.
If a surgery, or their practice manager, are determined to cover up, rather than accept that mistakes were made, and look to avoid repeating said mistakes, something is inherently wrong and looks to me as extremely dangerous practice.
It is pushing me to take it much further than I intended.
Some may see me as a crank, I am sure my family do, but I spent 5yrs trying to keep my brother alive, and the last two years doing the same with my dad. Sadly my brother did not survive, but my dad is still here, and I thank whatever force/God that he is.
I now am also fighting for me to survive, 10yrs of being told no heart issues, to suddenly being rushed in for triple heart bypass, 30yrs of being type 2 diabetic to find out like my misdiagnosed brother I am type 1.
I may actually be a crank, I dont suppose its a thing we can judge for ourselves, I may likely be described as ‘mental’ by others, I may be taking on battles that I shouldn’t, but that’s my personality flaw. If you act reasonably, if you act responsibly, if you accept mistakes were made, and look to put in safeguards, then I can live with that.
But if you deny, if you lay blame and cover up, then I will fight to my last breath, even if it means I am struck off, and ridiculed/vilified.
Even if you seek to discredit me, I will fight on.
Jonesy
Jonesy, simply a human 