Today, the 7th December marks around day 5 of my isolation. I may have gone to a local shop out of necessity within that time, but nowhere of note.
Every single day at this time of year is a challenge.
I am in constant pain, despite the Reletrans transdermal patch I wear upon my back constantly. Despite the additional prescribed opiates, despite the other non opiate meds I also am prescribed for pain.
So what is this pain? Well for me its beyond any ache I could describe, parts of my body feel as if I am having a wide twelve inch blade slowly inserted into me, in other places a red hot poker placed under my skin, then my bones feeling strained as if bearing the weight of a car upon me, ice and lava running through my veins, hitting every nerve upon the way.
My muscles no longer work when I need them too and I do truly ache when I move.
I am exhausted all the time, totally wiped out.
This is without describing the effects upon this body through Crohns Disease, something I take truly terrible poisons every single day of my life to suppress, a disease that means not only does my body eat itself but means I can without any notice suddenly find myself in the most difficult and highly embarrassing of situations. I have been lucky thus far in so much as I have still no bag, but have had to go through a few courses of being infused with chemo drugs.
For me this is bad enough but for others you will not see any of this, they will not tell you even that they have this to deal with this vile disease. They will suffer in silence, but to you not knowing their life, you may see them as a scrounger.
I also have diabetes, that currently may be type one, 2 or something different. The experts are still arguing it after 30 years of diagnosis and 25yrs of insulin. Even now my glucose range is daily likely to fluctuate from 2.8mml to 38mml.
This too is as the pain and crohns exhausting. My moods swing with my sugar levels. Placid when low, but at times beyond tetchy when they are high. I don’t often get to sleep due to neuropathy, I cannot stand the bedsheets against my skin. Clothes become torture, feeling as if wrapped in sandpaper.
The medications, the injections mounting up and stopping my diet that Crohns requires.
Then there is the Fibromyalgia, something some will tell you is made up, that its nothing, and unless you experience it, truly you will never understand the impact of this upon the very soul residing in our meatsuits. I challenge anyone to describe the exhaustion and constant pain this condition brings with it. Without you living it you won’t come close.
Then there is the pain of the bizarre first bite syndrome. When you first try to eat something the agony in your jaw and mouth. Not fun.
For me there, despite my triple heart bypass, are still cardiac issues, such as SVT, where my pulse rate will exceed 240bpm, angina, and I am told still arteries that are clogged.
All of that along with the effects of PTSD, Anxiety and Depression are my daily journey. Before I arise in the morning to take my first mountain of tablets, the fight to find any reason to be here. I am lucky thus far that there are a few.
There are indeed days I am skilled at hiding any of this, days you as a observer will have no idea. I still have friends and family, despite knowing about most if not all I cope with that think I will soon be over it all and will be able to work, sadly others that don’t accept I am ill at all and think that me along with several thousand others choose to be ill, choose to loose their identity, their purpose, their value, their worth, their choices, their futures and their hope.
To those of you that believe that, feel free to live my life. I would gladly swap.
Now I have written this for me, a little self indulgence of getting some folk to see my truths, but as well I have written it for the hundreds of thousands like me or sadly far worse, those you all constantly seem to judge. Those you see as ripping you off because you work and pay social security, well let me state, I too worked, for decades, in all sorts of jobs before finding my calling,my career, the thing I grieve most after the loss of my brother and the estrangement of my adult children, and thats the loss of me,the me I was, the me I wished I still was, the me of whom I had pride, self respect, and hope. That me is no more. I cling on to the last remnants of that version of me, I still keep my social work registration going, in again that hope I too am guilty of, the one where I wake up and are once more able to live, plan, organise, think, keep appointments, imagine a time where I no longer let friends down, where I don’t let me down.
That day likely will never come, so seeing posts of close friends where the sick, chronically ill, disabled and unwaged are seen as scroungers cuts me to the bone, makes my shame a thousand times worse, backs up society’s view and sadly too often my own, that I am useless, that despite the lives I have saved, the lives I have brought about change, the lives I have safeguarded, that now I am sadly seen as this pathetic excuse of a man , now I am whatever I have become, just a burden upon society, then I no longer deserve to be here, no longer deserve to live on those days I can pretend to be well.
Again this is not just me, its about all of us who you non doctors, you non informed, you social media qualified people always villify.
I am exactly a person this government, and any future government want to see culled.
Welcome to 21st Century Britain
Month: Dec 2025
Britains who are they
Since when was the UK only made up of white people? Do you know? Maybe before WW2? Nope, ok then before WW1? Wrong, before the 8 war of 1853, wrong again, maybe the Napoleonic Wars, try again, ok ok then the seven years war of 1756, non, the beginning of the British Empire starting in 1497? Nooo, alright the first crusades, they began in 1095, nope, The Norman invasion and the battle of Hastings, you know in 1066? Oops still not it? Right the viking invasion 793? Ah argh nope, Saxons in the 5th Century AD? No absolutely not, Romans in 55BC? Nope, wrong every time. There is evidence of people with a Mediterranean and possibly North African decent being in Britain since 1700BC.
Given our lineage its likely since before even then.
Christianity has only been in Britain since 200AD, and then not taking any real hold until 400AD,
It was 1066 until Judaism came to Britain, along with that terrible William, who spiked Harry in his eye. There is evidence that Islam was in Britain in 794 and before. The good old British Protestant Church began in Britain in1547. It wasn’t until the 19th Century that Buddhism arrived in Britain. The Mormons, Donny, did not arrive until 1837.
So tell me again who is the most British, which religion is British? What the British skin colour is?
Nigel de-Façade, Tommeh and ‘Opkins please explain to me why you are “true British”, why you have a right to be here.
Britain at the height of its empire controlled around a hundred countries out of the one hundred and ninety five listed today.
We as a small nation imposed our masters will upon over half the world.
We did this by invasion and forced trade. Our main means of diplomacy was the musket then rifle.
The Empire belonged to the monarch of the time, and the rest of us were their subjects. Even the Prime Ministers and politicians.
Today its likely that the current Joke-King, is still head of the Establishment, and certainly that of Britain and most of the former Empire Countries – the Commonwealth. I doubt he holds the same respect as his Great Granny, but certainly a lot of power.
So Flagage, Yaxley-Lemmon and Catty Katie the Immigrant hater, don’t people that hail from those countries have a birthright to be here?
What about the people fleeing wars that we cause, start, fight and supply? Should they not have a right to safety? To a home after we have bombed theirs?
Maybe we should rid the Union Flag as its pretty outdated. Maybe the flag we should fly is the one below, the Commonwealth Flag, representing some of the countries we actually are beholding to, due to our monarchs and their Establishment raping, stripping, stealing, murdering and squandering their lands in the name of civilising but in reality for the profits and power that the British Empire stole, to ensure we all can think us better than other human beings.
Without The British Empire, our Colonies, the now Commonwealth, Napoleon, the Kaiser and Hitler would have all beaten us.
Which is your preferred language, German or French?
Oh and to be clear Britain has always in every war been allied to Russia, pre, during and even post communism. The same cannot be said of the USA, France, Germany, Israel or anywhere outside of our enforced Empire.
So who is the enemy? Keir Starmer The Labour Party Reform UK Conservatives Liberal Democrats
I personally think my true enemies are The Royal Family, Aristocracy, The Establishment, The Government, all MP’s, Corporations and those pulling their strings.
My enemies are not in dinghies, they are driving Rolls Royce, Bentley, BMW, Mercedes, Audi, flying in private jets and cruising on yachts that either they or their mates own.
My enemies are not claiming their entitlements under the welfare state, they are asset stripping it.
My enemies don’t even fly flags, they encourage people to associate them with hate.
Simple says Simon.
Jonesy, simply a human 